The No Talent Ass Clowns‘ self-made rock documentary bombed at its premiere recently.
Totally humiliated, the band is naturally furious. “I’m pissed as f**k,” said front man Lars Gunblade during an interview with Channel 22 News of Kings Nose, NJ. “This documentary shows how great we are and no one wanted to see it. It’s totally awesome. You’d have to be pretty dumb if you aren’t impressed by it.”
Having suffering the humiliation of being cut from the guitar documentary, “It Might Get Loud,” The No Talent Ass Clowns decided to create their own rock documentary. “To be honest, we didn’t put much effort into it,” says Gunblade. “We had some old concert footage lying around and some unused bits of interviews so we just pieced something together in no particular order. It’s not exactly Ken Burns quality but it’s more than good enough for the fans.”
Rock Documentary Failure Blamed On Media
Gunblade blames the failure of the rock documentary on the press, which did little to promote the film. “Luckily, we have Channel 22 in our back pocket,” says Gunblade. “KCUF is from our hometown of Kings Nose, NJ. Believe me, we can get what we want from them because I’ve had sex with every female anchor there for like ten years and every dude at that station has gotten tons of weed from us. So, yeah, I got my interview. Unfortunately, too little, too late, man.”
What caused the film’s lackluster performance at the premiere? The film’s distributor, Red Propeller Enterprises, feels the real problem was that Gunblade insisted that the film have no title of any kind. “How are we supposed to promote this f**ker?” asked Dwayne Mogley, the CEO of Red Propeller Enterprises. “What do you put on the marquee? We finally had to put ‘No Title’ because we didn’t know what else to do. This turkey is Gunblade’s fault. The guy is a genuine dick and we’ll arrest him if he ever sets foot in our office again.”