Lars Gunblade: Rock Legend
By Lucky
Was Lars Gunblade’s solo CD proof that the Ass Clowns are breaking up? No comment from Lars Gunblade.
Lars Gunblade – Songs About Stuff
Granted, this Lars Gunblade CD is terrible. But, hey, it’s a very different direction from the Ass Clowns. For a start, it’s not about asses (unheard of on an Ass Clowns album). And it contains yet another version of the Ass Clowns classic song, “Blow Chunks Ballet.” The only comment from Lars Gunblade: “If you don’t like it, you’re dumb.”
Track Listing
- You are really pissing me off
- What’s your f**king problem?
- I’m drunk, you’re drunk, let’s go!
- I’m a retard
- Blow chunks ballet
- Trixie’s got a problem… down there
- Why are you still here?
Second Lars Gunblade solo album, You Make Me Sick, set to arrive in record stores soon.
You Make Me Sick cover
“It’s kind of funny,” says Chico O’Brian, owner of CDs Out Da Woz in Kings Nose, NJ. “I can’t sell the friggin’ CD he’s got now. How am I gonna sell this piece of shit when it comes out?”
Lars tells us that the new CD is “like cool” and more reflective than his work with the Ass Clowns or his first solo album. Songs like “Prove That You Love Me” reflect a tender side of Gunblade no one has seen before.
Sneak Peak at Lars Gunblade’s New Video
“Dumb as Sand” is the single from his solo CD. It’s not very good. In fact, it’s terrible. The part where Lars sets himself on fire, screams horribly and dies is actually pretty cool. But like everything Lars ever does, it’s hopelessly egotistical, vain and self-serving. Damn, you gotta respect Lars for keeping it real!
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Here’s why I like this band:
Why has god abandoned us?
He’s merely on vacation.
Lars Gunblade strikes me as a moran. I’m pretty sure I’m right about him being a moran.
I listen to Lars Gunblade when I do yoga. It doesn’t actually work too well and neighbors keep making death threats if I don’t stop. Gotta stop writing cause the cops are here. Later.
Lars Gunblade is a genuine rock star. I’d just like to know why there aren’t articles about him in Rolling Stone? I can’t remember one single mention of Lars (or the No Talent Ass Clowns for that matter) in any major music publication. They can’t just ignore the best band on earth!!! Just goes to show you how the man is tryin’ to keep Lars and the Ass Clowns in check. Not gonna work, music mainstream press!! Like the last song on Lars’ new CD says, “There’s the door, use it!”
Songs About Stuff is the best CD I’ve heard in the last ten years. Lars tells it like it is. Sure, it’s full of badly written, infantile lyrics. Sure, it sounds like it was recorded in ten minutes. But I don’t want to sound negative. Lars, we’re all behind you here in Wolverhampton!
Songs About Stuff is the kind of shit most people couldn’t dream up if they tried. I freakin’ love “Sally’s Got a Problem – Down There.” sounds like my girlfriend who couldn’t be bothered to tell me that she was into threesomes and foursomes before we met and now i gotta get checked out by a doctor because of some weird disease she got from the group of guys she did at some frat party and its burning every time i take a wizz. anyway, lars you rock. can’t wait to see you tour without the ass clowns.
“Songs About Stuff” is the best CD I’ve bought in years. Can’t wait to hear “I finished, now get out!” on “You Make Me Sick.” I heard a bootleg of it from a buddy of mine at a radio station. Great stuff!
I recently confiscated a copy of “Songs About Stuff” from one of my students. It is proof that the devil walks the earth and has shat on us all. Listening to this album will take the listener on an express elevator to hell. This CD is a moral wasteland.
By strange coincidence, “Express elevator to hell” is rumored to be the name of the next No Talent Ass Clowns album. Why to go, padre!
That’s a trip I wanna take!
Lars,
You got me pregnant–again! This is the 6th time. Come back and face the music if you have the guts. And please sign your new CD for my mom. She’s a big fan. And she’s pregnant too if you’re interested.