The No Talent Ass Clowns Discography

By Lars

The No Talent Ass Clowns Discography

Behind The Times - The No Talent Ass Clowns

Behind The Times

Behind The Times

  • Sex Me Up, Hose Me Down!
  • Let’s Try Somethin’ Different
  • Keep It Clean (But Dirty)
  • Tight Squeeze
  • Do You? (I Hope So!)
  • Manos, The Hands of Fate
  • Loosen the Bell, the Goat is Home
  • Blow Chunks Ballet (Hear the whole bloody song)
Pucker Factor - The No Talent Ass Clowns

Pucker Factor

Pucker Factor

  • Ass of Mass Destruction
  • Brown Helmet Bingo
  • Time For Round Two, Baby!
  • Come Back, Go Away
  • It’s All Good (For Me!)
Live at Consumption Auditorium

Live at Consumption Auditorium

Live at Consumption Auditorium

Say Hello To My Posterior

Say Hello To My Posterior

Say Hello to My Posterior

  • Assume The Position (excerpt here)
  • Fast Or Slow?
  • I’m Almost There
  • Yes, Yes, Yes
  • Gotta Go
  • Don’t “Friend” Me, Girl!
Ass on Demand

Ass On Demand

Ass On Demand

  • All Ass, No Heart
  • Ass Me Why
  • Keep Off the Ass
  • Season of Ass
  • All That Glitters Is Not Ass
  • Brave New Ass
  • In My Mind’s Ass
  • Tower of Ass
  • All Heart, No Ass
  • Ass On Demand

Express Elevator to Hell

Express Elevator To Hell

  • Burn You To A Crisp
  • Hey, Babe, Do My Laundry
  • Worshippin’ The Devil In You
  • I’m Drunk, You’re Drunk, Let’s Go
  • I Don’t Care If You’ve Got A Headache
  • Let’s Do Some Crimes
  • I Always Have Time For THAT
  • Don’t Want No Job
  • Who Took My Stash?
  • Express Elevator To Hell
  • A Little Ass Music

Brain Dump

Brain Dump CD by The No Talent Ass Clowns

  • Hammered
  • Hammered, Part II
  • Hammered, Part III
  • Brain Dump
  • Brain Dump, Part II
  • Brain Dump, Part III
  • Do the Deed
  • Do the Deed, Part II
  • Do the Deed, Part III

Pinch The Loaf

Pinch the Loaf - CD

  • Pinch the Loaf
  • Adderall Blues
  • Oh, Snap, She’s Got the Clap
  • Shut Up and Open Your Mouth
  • Sex Me Up, Hose Me Down
  • I Finished, Now Get Out!
  • Words of Wisdom (New Zealand pressing only)
  • All Hail Mammary Protrusions
  • I’m Feelin’ Randy. But Who’s Randy Feelin’?
  • Ass On Demand
  • Untitled

Acme Urinal Cakes

Pucker Factor


Ass on Demand


  1. Percabel Irvington III says:

    Express Elevator to Hell is the Ass Clowns’ crowning achievement by far. From tight little rockers like “I’m Drunk, You’re Drunk, Let’s Go!” to power ballads like “A Little Ass Music,” you’d have to be a real faggot to not like this CD.

  2. Circus Freak says:

    The NO TALENT ASS CLOWNS are the GODZ OF ROCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I celebrate their entire catalog. It fills the CD holders on both visors in my car.

    I have their posters on the ceiling above my bed and another in the bathroom.

    I heard a rumor that they plan to hit the studio soon to record a hot new single
    “Mustache Ride Into the Night” which is sure to be a chart topping clASSic tune!

    • The REAL Hammer says:

      They actually played “Mustache Ride Into the Night” the last time they were at Consumption Auditorium. It totally kicked ass. Can’t wait to hear the studio version.

  3. Gaylord says:

    Where can I buy your sh!t since you ass clowns didn’t bother to swing by Indianapolis, IN. You should tour with ANAL CUNT (search it, grind metal)!

    I found your site because I was going to name a band the same, LOL, but just have tracks of me farting and sh!t. thanks a lot for crushing my dream!
    I got some rad song tittles and concepts if you want to hit the studio.

    Butt (heh heh) seriously I want those al-bums (huh huh)

    or was this just a one hit wonder glam band deal?

    • Bill T. says:


      Yeah, it’s getting harder and harder to buy Ass Clowns CDs. After their bitter fight with Amazon a few years ago, Amazon deleted their entire catalog.

      Actually, they played the Hard Rock in Indianapolis awhile back but got banned when they encouraged the chicks in the crowd to take off all their clothes during the show.

  4. Dudes,

    Great site but where are the song downloads, man? I wanna hear some No Talent Ass Clowns music. Come on, you ain’t the Beatles! I know shit loads of people who haven’t heard an Ass Clowns CD. They must not be denied!

  5. T-Bone says:

    I asked the prison guards if I could get a copy of Express Elevator to Hell when it comes out. Turns out I can–in exchange for some favors that I’d rather not do. Why couldn’t they just wanna have sex with me instead?

  6. Captain Samuel Hayden says:

    Ass Clowns rule. Can’t wait for their “Best of” CD. I’m counting the minutes on my watch. No, I have no life.

  7. Dr. Clayton Forrester says:

    I played “Say Hello To My Posterior” during my ice dancing lesson and I was asked to leave after five minutes. Lars, Vas, Carnage, Joey… you guys owe me $300.

  8. Col. James Chalmers says:

    For me, Behind The Times is the definitive No Talent Ass Clowns album. The rest suck. And suck bad! I currently am using Vas Defrens’ new album “Worship My Guitar” as a coaster for my drinks. Gave one listen to “Live At Consumption Auditorium” and promptly barfed up the best steak dinner I’d had in ten years. Thanks for nothing, ass clowns!

  9. Ass Clown Fan #1 says:

    Say Hello To My Posterior is f-in great! Best Ass Clowns album by far. You can’t tell me they haven’t grown as a band when you compare “Do You? (I Hope So!)” from their first album to “Assume the Position” on Posterior. There’s a huge difference between these two songs! I really like what sounds like a church choir singing the chorus to “Assume the Position.” Kind of gives me nightmares but it works!

    • Sandra D. says:

      At first, I was really offended by pretty over-the-top objectifying going on in that song, “Assume the Position” but after a couple of drinks I warmed up to the idea of the song. But I sure regretted it in the morning. I hate running into songs like that.

  10. Big Fan says:

    Big fan and everything but “Pucker Factor” is total shit, man. Yeah, there’s “Ass of Mass Destruction” but besides that? It’s pretty slim pickings. “Time For Round Two, Baby!” is the worst song I’ve ever heard. Is it any surprise that fans usually rate this as the worst ass clown album? I think not!

  11. Vincent Wong says:

    I read an article that “Behind the Times” was recorded in 70 minutes. Pretty good considering the album is 68 minutes long. Some have said this is really just a demo tape that got released as a tax write-off by No, Not There! Records. I wouldn’t doubt it. The sound quality is pretty rough. Still, it’s great stuff. At our wedding reception, we had the band play “Keep It Clean (But Dirty)!” and everybody applauded when we started some serious dry humping during the chorus. The priest didn’t like it much but he said he prefers their second album instead. To each his own.

  12. Trak Nofftard says:

    Live at Consumption Auditorium is the best CD I’ve heard in ten years. I was a little surprised by the sound. I kind of expected audio straight from the sound board rather than from somebody’s cell phone. I don’t mind too much but when dumb ass people in the crowd keep drowning out the band with shouts of “Ass Clowns! Ass Clowns!” it gets a little annoying. I did enjoy the 900-page booklet that came with the CD as well as the inflatable bong with the Ass Clowns logo on it. Nice touch!

  13. Lou Ann from Georgia says:

    Love every CD they ever put out. The bootlegs are great too! Lars, I want to have your baby. Actually, I want to have anybody’s baby.

  14. Jim Toadvine says:

    Even after all these years, Behind the Times is still a great album. Don’t like the newer stuff much. Heard a couple of tracks from Say Hello to My Posterior at a party. I was pretty wasted but it sounded pretty good. I played “Assume the Position” for my girlfriend… and she did. Ass Clowns, I owe you!! I’d been asking for that for three years.

  15. randy says:

    say hello to my posterior is brilliant. for a joke, played it for my grandmother and she had a stroke. sure gonna miss her.

    btw, yet another troll on the what up page. told him to fu** off.

  16. TK421 says:

    Anybody besides me notice how Lars has taken over the album covers? Does he know he has a band backing him up? What a dick! And his solo stuff sucks ass.

  17. T-Bone says:

    We were in the prison yard yesterday and the guards let us listen to “Behind The Times.” Man, the guys went nuts! Eventually, the guards got pissed when we started playing air guitar with our shovels and a couple of the guys got beat up pretty bad. This album sure takes me back. I’m pretty sure it was playing on the sound system when I robbed that convenience store.

  18. Pile On Pete says:

    I think it’s a little weird that “Say Hello To My Posterior” is in mono. Yeah, I read that interview Lars gave where he said he wanted “like zero separation” but I don’t like it. Great songs though. Really like “Assume the Position”… best hard-driving song that they’ve done in awhile.

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