The No Talent Ass Clowns just dropped their Pushing Rope music video… and the response has been epic.

Normally, songs about sexual dysfunction don’t do well. However, this song about pushing rope seems to deny that concept. Overnight, fans gathered outside the band’s recording studio in Kings Nose, NJ to show their appreciation for the Pushing Rope music video.

“It’s awesome,” says Derek T. Adams, a 20-something Ass Clowns fan from Kings Nose. “The song is deeply personal for me. I push rope a lot and I can’t satisfy any girl that I’m ever with, especially Debbie Smith from Kings Nose. I tolerated her constant, unrelenting farting in bed but she couldn’t tolerate me pushing rope. For awhile, I couldn’t deal with my feelings. Then, the Pushing Rope music video came along. I’m cleansed. However, I’m still pushing rope.”


The Band’s Reaction to the Pushing Rope Music Video


The band is particularly happy with the new video. Singer Lars Gunblade says he wants the Pushing Rope music video to be enshrined in a museum somewhere. That way, people can view it and study it, hopefully after having sex in a dark corner of the museum. For Gunblade, fresh off an unsuccessful collaboration with Klaus Hitler, the release of the video comes at a good time.

“I’ve been spending more money than usual on jazz cigarettes and prostitutes,” says Gunblade. “I really need some money and fast. Just making the video helped. As you may know, crew members pay us to work on our videos. We don’t pay the crew one damn dime. That’s always worked out great for us.”

Not everyone in the band, however, has good feelings about the video. Guitarist Vas Defrens is bitterly resentful that he was asked to stand on the edge of a cliff for one sequence in the Pushing Rope music video. “I thought I was going to fall off, especially considering how wasted I was at the time,” says Defrens. “Lars threatened to push me over the edge repeatedly. I didn’t enjoy that much.”


  1. Not Lew Flapp says:

    My girlfriend sleeps with the band every time they’re in South Jersey and she says that singer Lars Gunblade definitely pushes rope pretty much all the time. She can only get off with guitarist Vas Defrens apparently. She has shown me video of their bang sessions and, yeah, she’s right. Lars just barely keeps it up. Vas, on the other hand, is like a drill on the highest speed setting. I’m not at all jealous in any way at all. No way.

  2. Willard says:

    I like the song. I have no idea who this band is but I like the song.

  3. Kitten With a Whip 52 says:

    I watched this video as my boyfriend and every one of his friends banged me. It’s not important but wanted you all to know that.

  4. Vinnie from Staten Island says:

    It’s a shame that guitarist Vas Defrens didn’t fall off that cliff at the end of the video. Seeing him splattered on the ground below would have been really cool—and deeply satisfying.

  5. Ricki Montage says:

    I wish both band members had fallen off that cliff and done us all a favor. I like the song though.

  6. Meat Pants says:

    What can you say? This is an amazing video. I didn’t think any video could do such an amazing song justice but I was wrong. The Ass Clowns come through again. F*ck yeah!