Bad boy rock guitarist Vas Defrens of The No Talent Ass Clowns has once again caused a firestorm of controversy with a new CD hitting stores today.
The CD, entitled “I’ll Be Seizin’ You,” contains two 40-minute songs in an elaborate digipak that contains dozens of explicit photos of Vas Defrens’ wife, adult film star Trixie Beaumont, an inflatable bong, a generous amount of factory-sealed marijuana and a discount coupon for Doritos.
The CD was immediately rejected by all retail outlets across the country. Federal agents are visiting hundreds of stores to make sure no copies are sold. Rumor has it that it’s only available by emailing Defrens and wiring cash to a secret account.
“All those hot pics of Trixie Beaumont sure got me going,” remarked Kenneth William Johnson-Hearst, a cashier at the CD 3PO store in Hunt Valley, MD who asked not to be named. “But we can’t be selling a CD loaded with an once of choice bud… no matter how good it is. I don’t want to be arrested again. That would be strike three for me!”
As for the music itself, critic Joe Bunky from Rock Wasteland didn’t hold back, “It’s sick, lewd and deprived but kind of catchy. We gave it four stars but it really shouldn’t be sold anywhere to anyone for any reason.”