Posts Tagged ‘no talent ass clowns’

A shaken Jerry Gold addressed reporters this morning shortly after being found wandering naked on a PA back road with Ass Clowns’ roadie “Rando” Miller. He seemed dazed and struggled to find words. “There will be no free Centralia concert on August 11,” said the Ass Clowns’ manager in a low, trembling voice. “I am […]

In a startling statement, legendary rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns told reporters this morning that controversial rocker Ted Nugent is gay. “Oh, hell, yes!” said the band in a group statement during a press conference promoting their ass clown clothing line. “We’re talking gay, really massively gay. Most guys only wish they were as […]

Amid a cloud of secrecy, the newest No Talent Ass Clowns CD releases today. Entitled Ass On Demand, the cover art has stirred controversy. “This cover is great,” said Chico O’Brien, owner of CD Wasteland in Kings Nose, NJ. “But places like Wal-Mart and Target won’t display it. I mean, come on, it’s a shot […]

It’s official. If you’re a female and you go to a No Talent Ass Clowns show, the band requires that you attend topless. In fact, females not adhering to the new provision will be escorted off the premises, according to Ass Clowns manager, Jerry Gold. “Hey, man, this is just the first step,” said front […]

Rescuers in Greenland have confirmed that legendary rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns died when their tour blimp crashed late Sunday night. Dazed roadie “Rando” Miller was found unharmed and he lead rescuers to a horrifying scene — a polar bear eating the remains of the band members. “I thought I was gonna hurl […]