Ass on Demand

Ass On Demand

Amid a cloud of secrecy, the newest No Talent Ass Clowns CD releases today. Entitled Ass On Demand, the cover art has stirred controversy.

“This cover is great,” said Chico O’Brien, owner of CD Wasteland in Kings Nose, NJ. “But places like Wal-Mart and Target won’t display it. I mean, come on, it’s a shot of a naked chick’s ass!”

The band finds the controversy amusing. “That photo says a lot about our music,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “It’s who we are and we’re not going to compromise. ‘Ass on Demand‘ is all about integrity.”

Already fans are lining up at music stores to get their copies. “I love the cover,” said a fan who didn’t wish to be identified. “It definitely gets me going,” said the rabid fan, which prompted those in line next to him to move away.

No word yet on a release date but a video for Ass On Demand is in the works. “That’s going to be an NC-17 music video, you can bet on it!” said Gunblade.

Track Titles:

  1. All Ass, No Heart
  2. Ass Me Why
  3. Keep Off the Ass
  4. Season of Ass
  5. All That Glitters Is Not Ass
  6. Brave New Ass
  7. In My Mind’s Ass
  8. Tower of Ass
  9. All Heart, No Ass
  10. Ass On Demand


  1. Chris Hitler says:

    I asked for Ass On Demand at Wal-Mart and the m-fer behind the counter told me it didn’t exist. I jumped over the counter and took him out with the old one-two. Unfortunately, I never found the CD and had to leave. Why can’t I find it? This is the third store that insisted this CD isn’t real. What the hell is going on?

  2. Rev. Scott says:

    As a self-righteous Christian, I feel it is my God-given right to criticize this cover art. No one should have the right to view this photo. I sincerely hope that everyone buys this CD goes straight to hell and burns i agony for an eternity. Remember God loves you.

  3. Count Orlock says:

    I must have this woman.

  4. Sam Bass says:

    I don’t know. I think the band is slipping. I have to admit that I liked the 10-page booklet that came with the CD. It’s just dozens and dozens of ass photos. I’m good with that. And, yeah, there are some good songs here. Ass on Demand is probably their best song since “Ass of Mass Destruction.” but then, there’s shit like “Ass Me Why”… wow, that’s one shitty song that should never have been written.

    It’s a mixed bag really but you could do worse… I guess.

    • pfc dan the man says:

      hey, sam… you are one big douche bag!!!

      ass on demand is great and you know it. nobody writes ass songs like this. no else would dare. ass me why made me cry when I first heard it. i played it for my co and he cried too so it’s not just me.

  5. Lew Flapp says:

    Fantastic. Their greatest album ever. My girlfriend thought the cover was kind of sexy and you better believe Ass On Demand was playing when we hooked up last night. As we went at it, she kept singing the chorus to “All Ass, No Heart”… it was great.

  6. Vinnie from Queens says:

    I went looking for this at Target and the guy at the counter said there’s no such CD. I told him he was full of shit and whaled on his ass.

  7. Lance B. says:

    Those butt cheeks look awfully familiar. Must be my girlfriend.

  8. T-Bone says:

    Wow, great cover. But what the hell is wrong with that chick’s index finger?