Author Archive

Singer Admits Killing Lead Guitarist

Posted: 19th August 2021 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown Updates

Singer Lars Gunblade of The No Talent Ass Clowns admitted in a press conference today that he killed lead guitarist Vas Defrens in a fit of rage on January 6th. The news came as no surprise to fans. Many had been questioning why Defrens was a no-show at numerous sex parties in Los Angeles throughout […]

The No Talent Ass Clowns website admitted in a press conference today that it hadn’t updated its site since 2018. “To be honest, I don’t think anyone noticed,” said the webmaster, a man who goes by the name “Lucky.” Rabid fans of the No Talent Ass Clowns have been deprived of new blog posts since […]

The No Talent Ass Clowns just dropped their Pushing Rope music video… and the response has been epic. Normally, songs about sexual dysfunction don’t do well. However, this song about pushing rope seems to deny that concept. Overnight, fans gathered outside the band’s recording studio in Kings Nose, NJ to show their appreciation for the […]

Pushing rope. For some guys, it’s a reality. For The No Talent Ass Clowns, it’s a song. “Pushing Rope,” the new song from The No Talent Ass Clowns dropped last week to thundering praise. Hear what everyone is raving about: Like many Ass Clown songs, Pushing Rope contains a chorus and not much more than […]

Lars Gunblade of the No Talent Ass Clowns and avant-garde German recording artist Klaus Hitler have agreed to record an album together this year. The untitled project is currently in the recording phase. Gunblade released a statement from his band’s tour blimp saying that he’s excited about the collaboration. “He’s one weird-ass motherf*cker. I have […]

A fake Time magazine cover showing singer Lars Gunblade of The No Talent Ass Clowns rocked the credibility of the infamous band this week. Spotted by Redit contributor HanAssholeSolo, the fake Time magazine cover can be found on hundreds of websites, all of which assume the cover to be authentic. Ass Clowns manager Jerry Gold […]

Rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns recently purchased what many call the worst wine ever made… “Chateau de Twat” produced by the Chateau de Twat winery in Western France, is known as the worst wine produced anywhere in the world. Yet, the No Talent Ass Clowns stand behind this French red wine. Singer Lars […]

Rock star Lars Gunblade has turned filmmaker with the first of his “10-Second Stories” on YouTube: Gunblade recently told reporters that he’s a bit bored with making music so he started toying around with film-making. “It’s a pretty easy thing making films really,” said the controversial rock star. “And truthfully, I don’t have the attention […]

As a leaked police undercover video shows, singer Lars Gunblade and guitarist Vas Defrens want each other dead. Band members plotting to kill each other is pretty much uncharted territory in rock and roll… until now. Since they are in the same band, that’s pretty awkward. But it’s not unusual for The No Talent Ass […]

Drunk musician kicks janitor… you gotta admit that it’s the kind of drama No Talent Ass Clowns fans expect… When No Talent Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens kicked studio janitor Chico O’Brian, he probably never realized what he would set in motion. During a recent interview, Defrens was drunk even more than usual and blurted […]