Front man Lars Gunblade and guitarist Vas Defrens of The No Talent Ass Clowns were in top form recently when they sat down for interviews for director and band manager Jerry Gold. The two appeared to be more or less sober, which is not typical for either musician.

Gunblade and Defrens talked at length about Gunblade’s long-standing feud with Foo Fighters front man Dave Grohl. “If you ask him if he knows Lars Gunblade, he’ll say he has no idea who I am. That’s pathetic!” said Gunblade during the interview.

“These interviews are f***ing great,” said Lars Gunblade as he relaxed with two groupies after the interviews wrapped up. “The fans can watch our interviews over and over and kind of live through us because we have such great lives and they don’t. We’ve always tried to rub our fans’ noses in it that we’re super rich and they’re not. I think that feeling of hatred and resentment really gives our concerts the amazing energy that they have. It’s that sense of loathing the fans have for us that keeps us going. Believe me, there’s a reason every member of the band packs heat on stage. If something does down, we’re going to be like Doc Holiday in Tombstone.”

“I don’t like being interviewed,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “It kind of takes away the mystique. And The No Talent Ass Clowns are all about subtlety and mystique. We’ve got a reputation as serious rockers. Doing this interview stuff really feels like selling out. And you know, selling out gives me a headache. When that happens, I reach for Alleve. It’s the long-lasting pain relief I need when I’m on tour.”

Among the more interesting revelations in the interviews was that Defrens isn’t a fan of the band’s tour blimp and Gunblade once ran over a man outside Consumption Auditorium in Kings Nose, NJ. “I don’t have to worry about the cops following up on that because our manager always buys them off. So that dead guy’s relatives can piss off because they can’t touch me.”

Strangely enough, neither musician mentioned their upcoming movie debut “The First to Die,” which has fans wondering. “It must be really terrible,” said Ass Clowns fan Dora Stanhope of Ithaca, NY. “They’re distancing themselves from the project. Still, I want to see it and so does everyone else in my cell block.”

COMMENT ON THIS BLOG

  1. Dwi says:

    Please forgive me for being an obnoxious spammer.

  2. Walter Winchell says:

    I hate these guys. I mean I *really* hate these guys. There’s nothing redeeming about either of them. Lars is a complete shit and Vas is a total space cadet. That being said, their first album is really good and it was smart that they produced it themselves.

  3. Lester B. says:

    This band says everything we need to know about rock and roll.

  4. Philip Barton Key says:

    Watching this made me want to hurl. Lars Gunblade is a pig. Vas Defrens is just retarded or something. Who in their right mind would ever want to see this band play?

    • Dolores F. says:

      my husband had a seizure while watching this interview and he hasn’t been right in the head since.

  5. Vicki R. says:

    Lars is RIGHT. The Ass Clowns blimp is WAY better than Led Zepp’s stupid “Starship”:

    Starship

    • annonymous ex-groupie says:

      I’ve been on the Starship and the Ass Clowns blimp. No contest. The Ass Clowns blimp is better. They even have an on-board delivery room for pregnant groupies. I was impressed.

      • George C. says:

        Call me crazy but in retrospect, Led Zepp sure look like a bunch of gay boys. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

        • Father Mackenzie says:

          Looks like their main hobby was stuffing socks into their jeans to make it look like they had 12″ johnsons.

  6. George Fettyplace says:

    This is stupid. I can’t believe I watched the entire thing–twice. And I’m pretty sure I saw their blimp about a month ago over my neighborhood. They dumped their toilets right over my pool. Needless to say, no one has used that pool since.

    • Randall McCoy says:

      Same thing happened to my sister-in-law. They dumped their toilets on her in her driveway. Now she walks with a limp and she can’t speak.

  7. Chest Rockwell says:

    Lars Gunblade seems quite the asshole! And Vas Defrens comes off as a total moran. I don’t know their music but I might give it a listen now.

  8. Dr. Miguelito Quixote Loveless says:

    The two people in this video seem very mentally challenged. Lars Gunblade is obviously a narcissistic sociopath while Vas Defrens (if that is his real name) seems like a brain-damaged stoner with the mind of a child. Watching this video actually made my skin crawl. Both very disturbing men. Yet, somehow I admire them.

  9. SJS76 says:

    Watching this video of the Ass Clowns caused my intestines to explode… not that that is a bad thing.

  10. Mike TeeVee says:

    this is a joke right? please god tell me this band isn’t real because if they were, i’d have to kill myself dead.

    • Anne B. says:

      I thought it was fake too but after looking through the website and watching the music video, I’m not so sure.

      • Phillip Wilson says:

        They strike me as a band that turns it up to 11.

      • Nick from SC says:

        If it’s not real, a bunch of people have way too much time on their hands. Probably people on public assistance getting high and making these videos somewhere in fly-over country where there’s nothing else to do but count the cows. Sickening.

  11. Walter S. says:

    I like these guys. They’re not a bunch of show business phonies.

  12. Paul Ramone says:

    Well, that’s 10 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. My lady friend was over last night and she was in the mood until we happened to watch this Ass Clowns video. She was totally turned off, said she had a headache and left before I even served the chocolate-covered strawberries.

    Thanks, Ass Clowns. You’ve let me down… just like you always do.

    • The REAL Hammer says:

      She didn’t have a headache. She left to have sexual relations with me and she was incredible. I took her over and over again in a number of ways you didn’t have the guts to try. You’ll never measure up now, buddy. Not after I’ve had her.

      • CrazyBoy says:

        When she left Hammer’s place, I picked her up and took her to my frat party. Can you say 30 guys in two hours?

        • Paul Ramone says:

          Well, after reading your messages and hearing how unfaithful she was to me, I just dropped her off in Death Valley with no food or water–100 miles from anywhere. I figure she’ll last two days at most. Thanks for the heads up.

  13. Archie Philpotts says:

    I watched this train wreck of an interview with complete fascination. Never have I seen two more childish, moronic and preverted people in my life. Are all rock stars this stupid? Or are the No Talent Ass Clowns the frightening exception?

    It’s a sad comment on humanity that these two diseased individuals rose any higher in life than cashier at the local convenient store where people like me buy copies of “Barely Legal”.

    • Tracy G. says:

      We must have seen different interviews. I think this band is brilliant. I just wish they’d interview Joey Van Dundro. Drummers always get ignored!!!

  14. T-Bone says:

    Best. Interview. Ever. Lars and Vas are amazing… although not really in a good way.