In a new interview, rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns expressed their anger that some people didn’t believe the band was real. Front man Lars Gunblade and guitarist Vas Defrens talked about the fans, their favorite venue Consumption Auditorium and finished up by talking about how some believe they’re a fake band.

“Fake band? You’re gonna say that I’m not Lars Gunblade?” asked Gunblade with disdain in his voice. The singer became more hostile as time went on and when the cameras stopped rolling, he left the building and punched an elderly man who happened to be passing by. “That helped,” said the singer when he returned with a fresh bottle of whiskey in his hand.

The Ass Clowns were quick to discuss their hatred of their fans. “They know we detest them,” said Gunblade during the interview. “We hate our fans and they know it.” Gunblade’s comments about killing fans and putting their heads on pikes was deleted at the last moment by director Jerry Gold. “Lars sometimes goes a little too far,” said Gold later.

“One problem is that he hadn’t had any groupies for almost a week so he was really tense,” added Gold. “Plus, Lars was pissed that someone using his name put the interview on Funny or Die. That just really made the band look bad, in my humble opinion. Luckily, the subject of Dave Grohl didn’t come up or that would have really set him off!”

Gunblade and Defrens also discussed LarsAid, the charity Gunblade set up for himself. Gunblade was proud of himself for coming up with it. Defrens, however, said he deeply resented Gunblade for thinking of the idea first.

Vas Defrens appeared to be lethargic and mixed up his words a lot during the interview. “Yeah, Vas was pretty messed up during the interview,” said Gold. “He burned one right before the cameras started rolling. Trouble is it was primo stuff and he was on another planet after about a minute.”


  1. teddypendergrassmyass says:

    this band looks horrible. i mean really, really horrible.

  2. T-Bone says:

    Thanks Lars and Vas for keeping it real.

  3. JK542 says:

    These two are what pass for rock stars at this time? You are surely having a joke on my person. I live in Vietnam and are dreaming of coming into your country. But if Lars and Vas are anything like the rest of citizens there, I will stay in the place where I am now. Making shoes for Nike at 10 cents an hour does not now sound bad.

  4. Retired Pervert says:

    I found this interview very informative. I was on the fence about whether to buy an Ass Clowns CD. Now I know better. Lars and Vas are pigs.

  5. Amber says:

    Lars said Consumption Auditorium is in Kings Nose but Google Maps can’t find it. What am I doing wrong?

    • Heath Barkley says:

      If you want to stop by my place, I’ll show you what you’re doing wrong. Boy howdy, I’ll also show you some things you never thought of trying before but I certainly have. You’ll like my place. I got a color TV and everything.

      • Gus says:

        You must think that just because you’re a Barkley that you can do whatever you want to in this valley. I used to work for them damned Barkleys and they’re scumbags, every one of them. I’m so glad the railroad wasted your father. I hear Tom Barkley begged for mercy before they shot him in the head five times.

        But I digress. Consumption Auditorium is right next to the famous Warehouse District in Kings Nose. Duh. Everybody knows that.

        • Nick Barkley says:

          Dear Gus,

          Watch it or I’ll pull your balls out through your mouth. You heard that correctly. Four Star Productions can’t stop me from doing this. Neither can the network. You never were no good. Worst ranch hand we ever hired.

  6. Jade Helm says:

    Down here in Texas, we know how to take care of people like Lars Gunblade and especially someone named after the tube thingie in your penis.

  7. Dr. JWB says:

    I am a board-certified psychologist and I believe both Lars Gunblade and Vas Defrens are deeply disturbed individuals. If these people were in my office, I’d recommend involuntary commitment.

    • Sammy J says:

      Oh, sure, you’d commit them like you tried to commit me? You’re a terrible doctor. BTW, I slept with your wife like 10 times and she was amazing. She’s like the Pele of anal.

  8. Booth says:

    I don’t wish to comment on this video because I haven’t finished throwing up yet.

    • Archie Philpotts says:

      Throwing up just means that you’re getting other bands out of your system. It’s perfectly natural. Don’t be a coward.

  9. Armacost says:

    I feel honoured that someone of Lars Gunblade’s caliber hates me. It makes me feel like someone.

  10. Toadvine says:

    I’d like to say that both of these rocks stars are truly horrible people and I’ll never listen to their music.