The new music video for “Words of Wisdom” is angering fans of the legendary rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns. Straying completely from their hard rock roots, “Words of Wisdom” is pure electro-pop, which is something many fans don’t want from the infamous band.

Strangely enough, the song is only available on the New Zealand pressing of “Pinch the Loaf” and many fans had never heard the song until seeing the video. “What the f**k is this shit?” asks Ass Clowns fan Danny Zooco of Bay Ridge, NY. “I expect Lars Gunblade to rock my f**king socks off. And what do I get? Depeche Mode lite? That’s bullshit. I won’t have it. I’m just glad that this isn’t on my version of ‘Pinch the Loaf’ because I would have thrown up if I had heard it on my stereo system. I’ll tell you what… I got some ‘Words of Wisdom’ for the Ass Clowns. Stick to rock and roll, bitch!”

The Band Reacts to “Words of Wisdom” Controversy

“Well, the fans don’t get it because they’re all stupid,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “No one is going to tell us what we can and cannot play. If I want to play… I don’t know… Eskimo piano music, I will! Although I’m not sure exactly what that would sound like.”

The rest of the band is pretty candid in its comments about “Words of Wisdom” and the music video. “It’s all about Lars,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “That’s pretty typical but it’s a little ridiculous here. I mean, shit, the band didn’t even play on the track. We basically had nothing to do with it. The only reason we weren’t pissed is because some truly amazing groupies came to the studio that day and we nailed them on the studio floor while Lars worked on the tracks in the mixing room. He must have really been into the mixing because he didn’t even come out to partake of the groupies, which is pretty unusual for him.”


  1. Guest says:

    I’ve never heard of Lars Gunblade or The No Talent Ass Clowns. For that, I’m grateful because they suck ass.

  2. Sheryl T. says:

    Lars Gunblade is a vile human being. I like the song though.

  3. Zeppo says:

    I expect to hear rock and roll from the Ass Clowns, not this shit. Who cut their balls off anyway?

    • Joaquin Murrieta says:

      I blame Vas’ wife, Trixie Beaumont. She may be a big porn star and everything but I think she’s the Yoko Ono of the band.

      • Jose S. says:

        Joaquin, is that really you? We got some stuff to do, man. Meet me at Pedro’s house tonight.

  4. Nick Barkley says:

    I was trying to make love to my neighbor’s wife and this video came on, which caused me to totally deflate. Haven’t been able to get a woody going ever since. I’m going to sue this fucking band.

    • Biff Wilcox says:

      My wife left me to be a groupie for the Ass Clowns six months ago. She is still posting videos of her having sex with them and their roadies. I wanted to blow the Ass Clowns away but they’ve got some pretty tight security around all the time.

      Oh, well. Turns out her twin sister is better in the sack anyway so I’m good.

      • Sammy J. says:

        You’re doing Becky? You did know she’s had gonorrhea for years, right? Yeah, good luck with that. You won’t like what happens to your junk, dude.

  5. Kent B. says:

    I, for one, would like to welcome our rock and roll overlords.

  6. Zimm Fear says:

    Who is this guy? He looks like a dick. Seriously.

    I like his girlfriend though.

  7. Nick L. says:

    Another nail in the coffin of rock and roll. Thanks for nothing Ass Clowns. Thanks for not sticking it to the man, assholes.

  8. Walter S. says:

    I like it although I’m a little high right now.

  9. Meat Pants says:

    Lars is awesome. But I’m only saying that because his manager pays me to say that. But don’t tell Lars that.