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Lars Gunblade in concert

Lars Gunblade: "We want more violent fans"

Lars Gunblade of legendary heavy metal band The No Talent Ass Clowns says concerts have become too tame these days.

“Hell, yeah. As a band, we want fights breaking out in every row of the arena,” said Gunblade during an interview in Prague. “In fact, if there aren’t pools of blood everywhere after one of our shows, we clearly aren’t doing our job. We feed off the hate of the crowd. It’s electric! That’s why I usually taze people in the front row. Yeah, they get pissed. Sure, a few unfortunate dudes have died. But it gets the crowd going. That’s everything in rock and roll!”

Gunblade had choice words for Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters who recently halted a concert to stop a violent concertgoer. “That’s typical Dave Grohl behavior… tryin’ to do the right thing and all that. He just doesn’t get it. Rock ain’t about doin’ the right thing. It’s about making bad choices and avoiding responsibility for your actions. Our fans are the biggest pigs in the world. We wouldn’t have them any other way.”

Gunblade and Grohl had a well-publicized falling out in the 90s after a failed collaboration. The ice is apparently not thawing. “Dave Grohl pretends like he doesn’t even know who I am? Can you believe it?”

Fans seem split on the issue. “Their shows are kinda dangerous,” said a teen-aged girl at an Ass Clowns concert who didn’t wish to be identified (although we’re pretty sure her friends called her “Tracy” and she’ s from Fallopia University). “I’m not sure making them more violent is a good idea. There could be some negative consequences to violence.”

“I think it’s great,” said Dan from Boston. “There’s a few people I wanna whale on. At least at a concert, I have a big choice of victims and plenty of escape routes.”