The No Talent Ass Clowns

Band says “no” to Ass Clowns impersonators

Legendary rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns issued a statement this morning concerning An Ass Clowns Tribute Band called Ass of Mass Destruction. It reads:

“We are against Ass Clowns tribute bands. Period. End of statement. You want Ass Clowns? Then you pay to see the originals. Not some cheap copies. Ass of Mass Destruction can sing “Blow Chunks Ballet” but they’ll never be The No Talent Ass Clowns. They won’t get the groupies or anywhere near the amount of drugs we get. We can’t stop shitty tribute bands like this but we can tell our fans that they are dicks if they go to see Ass of Mass Destruction.”

The tribute band recently announced plans to begin offering concerts but no further details have been issued. Despite the band’s reaction, Ass Clown fans seem interested.

“I can’t afford real Ass Clown ticket prices,” said Buford Picklefeather, a fan from Perth Amboy, NJ. “However, I can afford to see a cheap knock-off like Ass of Mass Destruction!”

  1. says:

    That insight’s just what I’ve been looking for. Thanks!

    [Site moderator: Hi, asshole. Stop spamming here, you prick]

  2. says:

    Hi, I’m a dumb ass spammer and I’m ashamed for trying to spam here. I’m a total dickhead. I’m sorry.

  3. axeman13 says:

    Who cares aboout Ass Clowns tribute bands? This blog has relly gone downhill lately. I want to know how about groupies Lars Gunblade is shagging and I want the sordid details. Where’s that stuff?

  4. roughtrade121 says:

    “Legendary rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns”…. Legendary? Really? Since when? They suck faster and harder than a male prostitute at a Celine Dion concert. Not that I’d know anything about that.

  5. Buford Picklefeather says:

    I never said you bastards could quote me in your goddamn blog! Prepare to be sued big time unless of course you want to pay me to use my comments.

  6. girlbait101 says:

    Listening to The No Talent Ass Clowns cured my acne. Will listening to Ass of Mass Destruction do the same? I doubt it.

  7. intruder762 says:

    Who the hell are The No Talent Ass Clowns??? And why would someone start a tribute band for a band I’ve never even heard of????

    • Duck Butter Dirk says:

      Screw you, Intruder762 (if that is your real name).

      The No Talent Ass Clowns are the greatest band on earth. Just because you haven’t heard of them just means you haven’t pulled your head out of your ass.

      • intruder762 says:

        I’ll keep my head in my ass if I want to, Duck Butter. I don’t need you telling me where to put it!

  8. Captain Jack Savage says:

    I hate the No Talent Ass Clowns. Why would I want to hear other people playing their music? I’d rather cut my nuts off, which come to think of it isn’t a bad idea.

  9. Mike Hunt says:

    I’d MUCH rather see Ass of Mass Destruction. The Ass Clowns have sucked for years. I saw them at Consumption Auditorium in 2002 and they sucked… I mean, sucked bad.

  10. T-Bone says:

    There’s only one No Talent Ass Clowns. These posers, whoever they are, are pathetic. Still, I’ll go when they start announcing concert dates. I’m out of prison and I have the time.

  11. Meat Pants says:

    I’d love to see this band. They can’t be worse than the originals.