Lars Gunblade In Concert

Lars Gunblade singing a speed metal version of “Hava Nagila.” Several grandmothers left the event in disgust, saying Gunblade’s mother should be ashamed.

Normally, The No Talent Ass Clowns sell out major venues like Consumption Auditorium. But on Saturday night, the bad boys of rock took the stage at a Bar Mitzvah on Long Island.

“My son likes the band although personally I think they are filth,” remarked Sol O’Leary, father of Bar Mitzvah boy Christopher. “Really, they make my skin crawl. If my parents were alive this would kill them!”

The Ass Clowns played to a packed theater in Flushing that Mr. O’Leary spent good money renting, although he did get a nice deal. “We had an agreement,” said Christopher. “I told my dad if he got the Ass Clowns for my Bar Mitzvah, I’d go into the business with him. He bought it. The thing is, working would get in the way of doin’ stuff. That’s what inheritances are for.”

“It was great,” said Gunblade after the show. “We usually don’t do crap gigs like this, but $500,000 is kinda hard to turn down.”


  1. Ruth Solomon says:

    I was there. This band is worse than you can imagine. They used the sinks in the bathroom as a toilet. I mean, yeah, I got it on with them several times in their van but I’ve had better, let me tell you.

  2. Well-mannered fascist says:

    the ass clowns are total sell outs. i am not impressed at all. they suck. and everyone who listens to them sucks. you reading this? you suck too.

  3. Vinnie from Staten Island says:

    We invited the Ass Clowns to play at my birthday party and their manager told me to go to hell. What gives?