Rock Wasteland has devoted yet another issue to The No Talent Ass Clowns. In this issue, Lars has a testy interview with famed Rock Wasteland journalist, Dora Stanhope. Here are a few highlights…
Rock Wasteland: Some say you’re a hopeless egomaniac who can’t sing, can’t play and can’t write. They even say you’re a perpetual liar.
Lars: Hey, I am not a perpetual liar. Wait, what does “perpetual” mean?
Rock Wasteland: Tell me, how is the band doing? Did Vas ask about me? Is he seeing someone?
Lars: I thought this interview was going to be about me. I want to talk about me, not the band. Next question, Dora.
Rock Wasteland: Does your music have a message? I’m assuming not.
Lars: Is this some sort of trick question? Because if it is, I’m not answering. I’m sorry, what was the question again?
Rock Wasteland: What’s ahead for Lars Gunblade?
Lars: I’m more concerned about what’s behind Lars Gunblade. And it better be some foxy chick with a 38 rack.
Rock Wasteland: How do you respond to critics who say you and your band are worthless?
Lars: Worthless is a relative term.
Rock Wasteland: What do you mean by that?
Lars: I stand by my answer. Next question, Candi.
Rock Wasteland: Dora.
Rock Wasteland: Well, I really have to be going. Thanks for the interview, Lars.
Lars: Wait, you’re leaving? Has someone ass*ole in the band been telling you that I still have herpes? Well, they’re f**king liars! I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all! I got an AA-12 shotgun. They’re dead!