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Rock Wasteland Magazine

Yet another entire issue devoted to front man Lars Gunblade

Rock Wasteland has devoted yet another issue to The No Talent Ass Clowns. In this issue, Lars has a testy interview with famed Rock Wasteland journalist, Dora Stanhope. Here are a few highlights…

Rock Wasteland: Some say you’re a hopeless egomaniac who can’t sing, can’t play and can’t write. They even say you’re a perpetual liar.

Lars: Hey, I am not a perpetual liar. Wait, what does “perpetual” mean?

Rock Wasteland: Tell me, how is the band doing? Did Vas ask about me? Is he seeing someone?

Lars: I thought this interview was going to be about me. I want to talk about me, not the band. Next question, Dora.

Rock Wasteland: Does your music have a message? I’m assuming not.

Lars: Is this some sort of trick question? Because if it is, I’m not answering. I’m sorry, what was the question again?

Rock Wasteland: What’s ahead for Lars Gunblade?

Lars: I’m more concerned about what’s behind Lars Gunblade. And it better be some foxy chick with a 38 rack.

Rock Wasteland: How do you respond to critics who say you and your band are worthless?

Lars: Worthless is a relative term.

Rock Wasteland: What do you mean by that?

Lars: I stand by my answer. Next question, Candi.

Rock Wasteland: Dora.

Lars: Whatever.

Rock Wasteland: Well, I really have to be going. Thanks for the interview, Lars.

Lars: Wait, you’re leaving? Has someone ass*ole in the band been telling you that I still have herpes? Well, they’re f**king liars! I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all! I got an AA-12 shotgun. They’re dead!