A new movie trailer for “The First To Die,” a new action film starring rock stars Lars Gunblade and Vas Defrens got attention from Hollywood producers this week…
“The First to Die,” originally held back several times in order to delete 20 minutes of unsimlated sex scenes, is set for release on Arbor Day, 2017. After seeing the new movie trailer for “The First To Die,” several studio executives say that Lar Gunblade and Vas Defrens are natural-born D-List movie stars.
Late last night aboard the band’s tour blimp, the band expressed concerns about the release for the movie. “The release date sucks,” says singer Lars Gunblade. “I don’t know when Arbor Day is. Seriously, what the f*ck is Arbor Day anyway? Did somebody make that up or something? It sounds fake, and I hate made up bullshit like that.”
“This must be the greatest movie ever made,” says guitarist Vas Defrens. “Lars and I are unbelievable in this thing. We burn up the screen in ‘The First To Die.’ Seriously, we’re that good. How do people get paid to act anyway? When I watched this new movie trailer, I totally got a major woody, and that was just from watching myself onscreen.”
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“‘The First To Die’ really adds to our legendary status,” says Gunblade. “We conquered the music scene and now we’ve conquered Hollywood with this awesome movie.”
During a press conference, Gunblade discussed the problems of being in a band. “That’s a lot of work if you think about it. You gotta run from city to city, you play for a long time and get really tired. Acting, on the other hand, is easy. You say a few lines, then go back to your trailer for a few hours and get it on with some sexy production assistant named Tiffany. I can totally deal with that setup for years or even decades.”