A CD of farts has been sold for 2 million dollars to an anonymous CEO of a pharmaceutical company. Rocker Lars Gunblade of The No Talent Ass Clowns decided on a whim to release a single copy of a CD entitled “The Magic Book of Farts” consisting exclusively of farts created and recorded by Gunblade.
“One night I was wasted and I wound up eating two cans of black beans,” said Gunblade. “Within five minutes, the farts started coming. But these weren’t your garden-variety types of farts. These were the eye-watering kind that smell like some dead animal starting to rot. I grabbed my recorder and started to capture each fart as it presented itself. I gotta admit I almost passed out because the air was gettin’ pretty horrible at that point. But somehow I kept from losing consciousness and I realized that I had like 40 minutes of farts. That’s long enough for a CD. That’s when it hit me. I should release it as a solo CD. Why not put out a CD of farts? So here it is. Some are angry sounding while others are pensive and reluctant. That’s quite an artistic range.”
CD of Farts: No Ripoff, says Gunblade
Following the band’s new policy of only releasing one CD of new recordings for a set price of two million dollars, Gunblade put the CD up for sale over the weekend and it sold within 30 minutes. According to Gunblade, there is virtually no production or editing involved. “It’s a 40-minute CD of farts. My farts. That’s it. To me, it’s every bit as artistic as some great guitar riff. And at least no one can claim that I stole these farts from old blues songs. Nobody is gonna say, ‘Hey, nice farts but I heard them originally from Blind Joe Reynolds or Big Bill Broonzy.’ Yeah, I’m lookin’ at you, Led Zeppelin!”
The anonymous buyer releases a statement about the CD that read: This is really awesome. I would have paid three million for it if that’s what Lars wanted.
If that dead-eyed Todd hadn’t shot me, I’d be enjoying this CD right now.
This is possibly the sickest idea for a CD that I’ve ever heard. Another question: who in God’s name is Lars Gunblade? I’ve never heard of him. He seems like a horrible human being.
Why would I want a CD of farting? This is disgusting.
I’d listen to a CD of YOUR farts. Just because you can’t be bothered to make one isn’t my fault! Back off!
I wish this moran had blown himself up by lighting a match during the recording. Would have served him right. He’s a dick. Sad.
Stupid Lars is low energy. Sad.
I wish I could make two million dollars off of my farts. This is pure genius!!!! I don’t know who this person is and I’ve never heard of the No Talent Ass Clowns but I applaud this guy’s business smarts. Why isn’t this Lars Gunblade running for president? I’d vote for him.
This is total bullshit.
Bullshit is in the eye of the beholder.
That would hurt if bullshit was in your eye.
If the CD came out in Odorama, I’d be interested. But just hearing the farts? No, that’s an incomplete experience.
I released a CD of my farts five years ago but it didn’t sell. I still have like 4,000 copies in my basement I guess it helps if you’re a big rock star like Lars Gunblade.
I wanted to make a CD of my farts as well, but no record company showed much interest. Once I added some really sick percussion, however, two companies suddenly wanted it. I never signed because they would have wanted me to fart on tour and I wasn’t sure I could do that night after night.
This is sick. This person is sick in the head. Who does things like release an album of their own farts? I doubt his farts are that interesting.
His farts ARE that interesting. And you need to put a large caliber gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. I’m being totally serious. No one likes you and you’d be doing the world a favor. Do it. Go ahead.
I don’t own a large caliber gun to put in my mouth although if I had one, I surely would. But, like you said, I should off myself so last night I tried jumping from my apartment window but unfortunately I live in a basement apartment so that didn’t work.
What other music artist would have the guts to release something like this? This is why Lars Gunblade is so great. He may be a total douche but I’m glad to live in a world where there’s a CD of farts like this. I’m hoping maybe a bootleg of it will surface on the internet. I’d really like to hear it.
It’s already out there. I downloaded it last night from some Chinese website. I found it very relaxing to listen to.
My girlfriend and I listen to it while we have sex. She normally never has an orgasm but when this is playing, she does. Now she tells me that I should just have sex with myself because just listening to the CD gets her off now. I guess I have mixed feelings about “The Magic Book of Farts” now.
Don’t light a match when you listen to it. That would be my advice.
Sorry I can’t hear it. Sounds awesome.
I heard a bootleg recording. It’s boring after 30 seconds.