Mega band The No Talent Ass Clowns recently discussed their childhood in Kings Nose NJ in a new interview released over the weekend. Singer Lars Gunblade and guitarist Vas Defrens revealed childhood robberies at a candy store and a general dislike for the town and its mayor.

The two rock stars have always had a love/hate relationship with Kings Nose. “We love to hate it,” said Gunblade after the interview. “Kings Nose is the toilet of New Jersey. If you know New Jersey, you know that’s quite a statement.”

In addition, Lars seemed to be hinting during the interview at a sexual relationship with the Mayor’s sexy wife, former porn star Traci Trench. When reached for comment,  Trench would only say, “Yes, I have known Lars Gunblade for many years in Kings Nose. I cannot confirm or deny that there are secret sex tapes of us about to be released in high definition with some really good lighting and some very visually dynamic camera angles. Just keep watching my website for any updates about this rumored sex tape in about three weeks. That’s all I’m saying.”


  1. Spazz says:

    I also grew up in Kings Nose. It was a great place. Back then the warehouse district was still inhabited by smelly winos who would grab you as you were on your way home from high school and make you sing old vaudeville songs with them. It turned out that one of them had been the lead on Broadway in Blossom Time. It’s weird to think that some guy giving you a hand job for five bucks could have been so famous once.

  2. Darcy Parnell says:

    I can’t find Kings Nose, NJ on Google Maps. WTF? I would like to visit the town because it sounds charming and possibly a place where me and my long-time companion can retire.

  3. Vinnie from Staten Island says:

    I have several videos of the Mayor’s wife, Traci Trench. She was the one who did videos with entire sports teams. An amazing performer. The Mayor of Kings Nose is damn lucky. And so is Lars.