Legendary band The No Talent Ass Clowns recently explained why they charge six times more for concert tickets than U2 does. “Why? Because we can,” said singer Lars Gunblade. Gunblade seems to have a few issues with U2 singer Bono. “I’ve always had a problem with U2. I saw U2 at their famous Red Rocks concert in ’83. It was raining like a mofo all night. I got phenomena from that concert and Bono didn’t. That has always pissed me off.”

“Lars and Bono don’t get along,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “They’ve met a couple of times and Lars told Bono that U2 was nothing more than an Irish show band. For whatever reason, that really got Bono angry as shit.”

The Ass Clowns apparently plan to keep raising prices every month. “Eventually I want each ticket to be $30,000. That’s my goal. Milk these ‘sheeple’ for all they’re worth. Look at it this way, they’ll appreciate the concert even more when they pay through the nose.”


  1. Dan Baxter says:

    I’d gladly pay whatever price the No Talent Ass Clowns wish to charge for concerts. U2 seems kind of like a force for good and The Ass Clowns aren’t. That’s why I prefer the Ass Clowns to U2 any day.

  2. Aleck Pop says:

    Saw U2 once. Never again. The No Talent Ass Clowns? Best live show ever. They’re terrible. That’s what makes ’em so good. Highly recommended.

  3. Walter S. says:

    For my money nothing beats a No Talent Ass Clowns concert live. I love how at the beginning there’s that huge prop ass at the back of the stage and each member crawls out of the butthole to get onstage. It’s awesome.

    • Hans Mueller says:

      It’s worth a thousand dollars just to see that. And when the big prop ass “farts” and they pump that sewage smell all through the concert hall, it’s totally awesome.