Guitarist Vas Defrens

Guitarist Vas Defrens

Vas Defrens, bad-boy guitarist of The No Talent Ass Clowns, says he’s OK with the band’s plan to split. In an interview with Rock Wasteland Magazine, Defrens says he plans to spend more time working on his Ass Collection at his “Rectal Hall” estate in Montana.

“I have an entire ass room,” admitted Defrens. “Everything is ass-related… ass lamps, ass tables, ass chairs, ass mirrors, ass place settings, you name it. Now, I can spend more time adding to my ass collection and enjoying it. My girlfriend [porn star Trixie Beaumont] feels this will keep me sane.”


Vas Defrens, No Talent Ass Clowns

  1. Meat Pants says:

    I always thought that Vas’ ass obsession really added to the band’s music. Surely “Ass on Demand” would not have been the same album without Vas. It’s rumored that he wrote most of the lyrics on that CD and it really shows in tracks like “Ass My Why” or “In My Mind’s Ass.” I say let Vas wave his ass flag high (and I’m sure he be).

    • Leon S. says:

      Are you saying he should wave his ass flag high or wave it (while) high?

      • Paul H. says:

        Both. And I know he certainly has.

        Truthfully, it’s a wonder any member of this band is still alive. I partied with them backstage a few years ago in Denmark. They downed gallons of Jack Daniels, snorted piles of coke, and sniffed innumerable tubes of airplane glue all the while engaging in degenerate sexual activities with strippers, porn stars and local librarians looking to go wild. It was quite a scene. In the end, I married one of those librarians. And that’s the rest of the story. Good day.

  2. Tony the Pony says:

    Vas is definitely obsessed with da butt. After a concert, I asked him for an autograph but he insisted that he’d only give me an autograph if he could write it on my bare ass. Imagine my humiliation dropping trowel with a group of people watching just to get his John Hancock. My girlfriend almost puked at the sight and left me the same night.

    I don’t recommend doing what I did unless you’re really into that sort of thing (which I’m not).

  3. Sister Mary Theresa says:

    What the hell does “Rectal Hall” look like? Sounds great.

    • Chester says:

      Word is, no one knows what Rectal Hall looks like. He doesn’t take groupies there. According to some fanboy website, even his girlfriend Trixie Beaumont never goes there.

      Yeah, Sister, it would be interesting to see.

  4. Luffy says:

    I went to grade school with this psycho. You all have no idea. How he’s not in jail is beyond me.

  5. Lubcheck 2120 says:

    Whoa! I just stumbled on this site. Just what the hell am I looking at? Please tell me this band isn’t real. Please tell me this Vas Defrens guy is made up because if he isn’t, I’m very, very scared.

    • The Derailer says:

      Oh, STFU. They’re real, dude. The Ass Clowns are every bit as real as you or me.

  6. Stan says:

    Because of all that touring with the band, I guess you could say Vas was getting a little BEHIND in his ass collecting.

    • Walter S. says:

      Notice how no one responded to your stupid pun. It was stupid. You’re no true Ass Clown fan. Please go away.

      • Stan says:

        Sorry if I gave offense. I don’t like the people who comment here at all. I will never, ever post anything to this website again.

  7. Bill For Christ says:

    I’m not familiar with this person or this band but they all sound disgusting. What an offensive group of people if you can even call them that! This “Vas Defrens” is under the devil’s influence obviously. No God-fearing person would have such a perverse interest in people’s backsides. Shameful, shameful, shameful.

    • IisTheRealDeal says:

      I’ve been as Ass Clowner since I was 14. I’m 22 now and I love this band. I don’t think being a fan has messed me up in any way although I fear my girlfriend would not agree. She doesn’t like the backdoor stuff I insist on every night.

  8. Erica B. says:

    This is classic Vas. I went backstage with him at a concert about 10 years ago. I thought we were going to do it but instead he spent hours telling me about his ass collection. Eventually, I gave up and left his dressing room so that I could do it with one of their roadies named Rando. Got VD but that’s a whole other story.

  9. Meat Pants says:

    Why doesn’t this surprise me? I love me some booty as much as the next dude but Vas has a problem.