Vas Defrens

“Me and Palin were a thing,” admits Ass Clowns guitarist

Days after Sarah Palin referred to White House Correspondents on Twitter as “assclowns,” No Talent Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens admitted that he once dated the former half-governor of Alaska.

“Oh, yeah, we did the nasty,” said Defrens during an interview aboard the band’s tour blimp. “Sarah is great. Those were crazy, crazy times, dude. After a couple of tours she split with all my pot and I’ve been bitter ever since. When she tweeted the stuff about ‘assclowns,’ I was pissed because she made it sound as if it’s a bad thing. I have a problem with that, man.”

Defrens went on to issue an open invitation to Palin. “Sarah, you’re welcome to join us on tour. It’s just not the same without you, baby. No other girl can do that ‘thing’ that you do and I’ve asked plenty of chicks to try, believe me. It’s OK. I’m clear now. More or less.”

When this website called Palin’s agent to confirm or deny Defrens’ story, the person who answered only replied, “How did you get this number?”



  1. Randall from Batavia, IL says:

    This website is awesome. Never heard of this band before but they sound really cool, if a bit ugly. I love Blow Chunks Ballet too. Great song. Why hasn’t that been on the radio?

  2. Reb Tevye says:

    I was a big assclowns fan until I heard this! I’ll never rip one of their CDs again! Screw them! They are dead to me.

    • Buford Picklefeather says:

      Good! The Ass Clowns don’t need falke fans like you. And if you ask me, Vas is pretty amazing. He bangs girls of all political affiliations. He doesn’t care. I think there’s a lesson there for the rest of us.

  3. Tenacious F says:

    This seems like a fake story to me. Also, I’ve never heard of this band and they sound really, horrible and look like they probably smell bad too.

    • Ed Exeley says:

      Fake story? What are you implying? I guess you’re going to say the band is fake too?? WTF? I have all of their CDs. I’ve been to dozens of their concerts. Guess it was all in my imagination, huh? Douchbag!

    • Lt. Col. James Chalmers says:

      I think this story is fake and I think this band is also fake. I think most, if not all, of the comments are fake too. In fact, I’m not too certain whether my own comment is genuine.

      I don’t find any of this website funny and it’s certainly not clever. It’s kind of sick actually. The people responsible for this crap should be waterboarded over and over.

      • Lew Flapp says:

        Lt. Col. Chalmers,

        Nothing personal but… you’re an ASSHOLE.

        • Meat Pants says:


          I think you’re an asshole as well. Sit on that and rotate, buddy.

          • T-Bone says:

            Meat Pants, I’m with you. Lew is a dick.

            • Lew Flapp says:


              How come you’re still out of jail? Don’t you miss your butt buddies in the big house?

              • T-Bone says:

                You crossed the line, Lew. And you’re going to pay for it… dearly.

                After doing a nickel up at Attica, I’m clean. Yeah, I got high with my parole officer a couple of times but it was a spur of the moment kind of thing.

                Plus, I live for Ass Clowns concerts, which I can’t attend if I’m in jail. That being said, I’ll risk going back just for the pleasure of doing you in, Lew. That’s a promise from me.

                • Lew Flapp says:

                  Oh, I’m so scared!

                  T-Bone, given a choice of murdering me or spending the same night deep inside some pretty boy who reminds you of your former cell mates, you know you’ll go with fudge packing instead.

  4. Carlos Danger says:

    I saw The Assclowns on tour in 1997 and, yeah, she was hanging around their hotel lobby in a city I won’t name. Funny thing is I thought she seemed more interested in Lars Gunblade than Vas. I mean, considering what she did to him in that bathroom. Anybody who says she isn’t talented don’t know what they’re talking about!!!

  5. Max Blanck says:

    This “blog” is just another pathetic attempt to tear down the greatest politician of our time. No one here is fit to lick Sarah Palin’s boots although I’d certainly like to try.

    • Tawny K. says:

      I’d lick Sarah Palin’s boots too. Although I’m not sure I’d want to have sex with her. No offense.

  6. T-Bone says:

    Why won’t Vas go into details? I want to hear the sordid details, man.