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Xanadu as seen in "Citizen Kane"

Xanadu as seen in “Citizen Kane”

Legendary rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns are 40 million dollars poorer after being tricked into buying the fictional Xanadu mansion from the film Citizen Kane.

“We were looking for a huge mansion where we could party 24/7,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “We saw that cool mansion in ‘Citizen Kane’ and thought, WTF, let’s buy that. We had no idea Xanadu doesn’t exist. It looked pretty friggin’ real in the movie. I suppose next somebody is going to tell us that Charles Foster Kane didn’t exist either!”

The estate of Charles Foster Kane was offered for sale to the band three months ago by a mysterious stranger named Eddie and the band quickly signed a contract. “We thought it would be great,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “We figured it would be nothing but naked groupies around the pool, in the gardens, in the hallways, you know, pretty much everywhere. Now we’re out 40 million. That’s justice for you. I just wish I had a charity for myself like Lars does. He’s one smart m-fer.”


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