Say Hello To My Posterior

Say Hello To My Posterior: The Ultimate Word?

The No Talent Ass Clowns’s CD, Say Hello to My Posterior, may not have made it into the Billboard Top 100 albums but it is enjoying popularity with a fundamentalist Christian church in Snake Alley, NC. The small church worships each track on the CD as the literal word from heaven.

“Yes, we believe singer Lars Gunblade is bringing us God’s word,” said Deacon Skip Mattingly. “With that in mind, apparently God is obsessed with anonymous sex and perverse sex acts. This kind of threw us at first but we’ve gotten used to it. Now we throw around foul language and sexist comments without even thinking twice about it. I think Lars and the rest of the band would be proud of us.”

The church has even constructed statues of the band members that it has placed on their altar. “Believe me, there’s nothing quite like seeing Lars, Vas, Carnage and Joey on Sunday morning giving us a rock and roll sneer from the altar,” said Deacon Mattingly. “We’re not sure how backdoor sex with groupies gets us any closer to heaven but we’re following the word of the Ass Clowns to the letter. They are showing us the way. At least we hope so.”

What does the band think of this? “I think it’s great,” said Lars Gunblade. “We’ll have to cruise down there and see if any of the chicks in the church are do-able. If so, we’ll show them the way alright!”

DON’T BE A DOUCHE BAG. COMMENT ON THIS BLOG!

  1. Ed Exley says:

    I am a douche bag but I’ll comment on this blog anyway. It sucks.

  2. "The Master" says:

    By strange coincidence, I also have an altar to the No Talent Ass Clowns in my home. I “sacrifice” virgins on it every Saturday night. I have a great sound system so the Ass Clowns music drowns out the screams of passion quite nicely.

  3. Hans says:

    Ik ben geen ventilator van de Clowns van de Ezel van het Talent van Nr. Ik zou eerder aan het geluid van mijn voeten die luisteren weg worden gehakt.

  4. Edna Crookshanks Worthington says:

    This blog and this web site is appalling. Like Henry V said in Henry V, “Methinks it is like another fall of man.” How true. Who could write–let alone read–these stories straight from hell?

  5. RalphReed001 says:

    I’m an atheist so this whole thing sounds pretty funny to me. That being said, I kind of worship the No Talent Ass Clowns myself.

  6. Thaddeus says:

    This blog is disgusting. I am extremely religious and I follow the bible exactly–except for the parts that don’t agree with my political views. I pretend those parts don’t exist. Luckily, hardly anyone actually reads the bible so I’m safe.

  7. Rev. Scott says:

    I wish to object in the strongest possible terms to this story that makes religion look bad. I’ve been a God-fearing Christian for 40 years and I have only occasionally participated in unnatural sex acts and group sex.

  8. Vinnie from Staten Island says:

    I just wish my girlfriend worshiped that CD. That would definitely work to my advantage.