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Lars Gunblade

Singer Lars Gunblade

Infamous No Talent Ass Clowns singer Lars Gunblade has one thing to say to his legions of fans… don’t look at him.

“I’ve been hearing these stories about B-list TV actors who insist that extras don’t look at them on set,” said Gunblade during a press conference aboard the band’s tour blimp. “And I thought, hey, what a horrible way to treat other human beings in this world. Then I thought, yeah, that’s a great f-ing idea! If completely worthless actors can make this demand and people actually do it, why can’t I?”

Gunblade has demanded from today forward fans cannot look him in the eye. “Damn right!” continued Gunblade. “Not at concerts, not on the street, not in brothels and definitely not in crack houses. I’ve even extended that policy to the rest of the band. I don’t need them looking me in the eye either.”

“Fine by me,” returned guitarist Vas Defrens, who carefully avoided looking in Gunblade’s direction. “I have other things to look at. Like my enormous member.”