The No Talent Ass Clowns plans to play an impromptu outdoor concert last night in Gooseberry Mound Park in Fargo, North Dakota while completely naked failed miserably. Six minutes after hitting the stage in the raw during a historic “polar vortex” that plunged temperatures to -30, band members staggered back to their dressing rooms where they were rushed to an area hospital.
“We’re okay now, ” said front man Lars Gunblade. “But we had some frostbite issues and three of us had to have our Johnsons amputated. That’s going to change the whole dynamic with our groupies, that’s for sure. Sorry girls, guess we’ll just watch from now on.”
“I didn’t want to do this,” remarked drummer Joey Van Dundro from his hospital bed. “I didn’t wanna see the junk of my fellow band members and I didn’t want to freeze my balls off. Well, guess what?!”