Vas Defrens arrested

Vas Defrens under arrest

For the first time in the band’s history, three of the four members of the legendary No Talent Ass Clowns have been arrested within the space of one month. Last night, Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens was arrested in Kings Nose, NJ after an altercation with a police officer. He joins the ranks of recent felons, front man Lars Gunblade and the band’s bassist.

“I realized that I hadn’t been arrested for a few years,” said Defrens. “I was starting to feel some pressure from the rest of the group to get arrested so I decided now was a good time to spend a little time behind bars. It was great. Naturally, our manager sprung me after 90 minutes. It gave me just enough time to write five songs for the new CD.”

Fans are now wondering if drummer Joey Van Dundro will complete the arrest cycle for the band. “I’m thinkin’ about it,” said Van Dundro. “If I get picked up, I want it to be for something really weird. Trouble is, I’ve been picked up for just about everything. I’m runnin’ out of weird.”


  1. Lew Flapp says:

    I personally wish to thank The No Talent Ass Clowns for keepin’ it real. Come one, Joey, it’s time to get your ass arrested. Don’t let the band down!

  2. Ass Clowns Fanboy 457 says:

    Vas Defrens. Greatest guitarist ever!

  3. Ron 727 says:

    Vas’ arrest has inspired me to do the same. Never been arrested before and now I’m ready to do something that will get me in jail. Can’t wait to be some dude’s girlfriend and make fake pistols out of soap bars and shit like that.

    • Ron 727 says:

      Couldn’t get arrested. I took a wizz on some cop’s shoes and he just laughed at me and said I was trying to get arrested like my hero, Vas Defrens. I then kneed him hard in the groin but he just laughed at me again and said to get lost. Bummer.

  4. Meat Pants says:

    I’m shocked. This band used to be about integrity. Now, I don’t know what to believe.