The No Talent Ass Clowns‘ bassist Carnage Smith was arrested outside Jerry Gold Recording Studios in Kings Nose, NJ late last night. This is not an unusual occurrence. Carnage Smith has been arrested hundreds of times for drug possession and soliciting prostitutes. This time, however, there were no charges of any kind.

Arresting Officer Hans Gruber was unapologetic. “He was bugging me,” said Gruber. “I don’t like Carnage Smith’s music or his bass playing.  That square bugs me! When I saw him in front of the studio having a smoke and talking to some groupies, I figured why not run him in for no reason at all? So I did and let me tell you, it felt great. The guys in the precinct house thought it was funny too. Now we have a contest going to see who can arrest the most people without charges in a single day.”

“Naturally, our manager, Jerry Gold, bailed me out,” said the frustrated bass player during a press conference he called at a strip club shortly after being released. Between lap dances, Carnage explained what happened after his arrest.

“This whole experience has taken its toll on me. Apparently, I’m now engaged to some guy named ‘Tazz’ who was in my holding cell. I’m a little concerned about what that could do to my reputation. And besides, making a marriage work in this business is pretty tough.”

COMMENT ON THIS BLOG

  1. Jan the Man says:

    More swears against Carnage Smith. Damn right.

  2. Mary, Queen of Arkansas says:

    Carnage is my hero. I refuse to believe this story. I think it’s fake. Carnage Smith is the greatest bass player ever.