Comments Off on Ass Clowns’ CD Contains Clues to Ex-Drummer’s Murder
Live at Consumption Auditorium

Does CD Contain Murder Clues?

An audio expert in the Justice Department issued a statement saying No Talent Ass Clowns‘ front man Lars Gunblade actively planned the death of ex-drummer Vulgar Smith while performing tracks for the band’s signature 2003 CD “Live At Consumption Auditorium.”

Daniel D. Tompkins of the DOJ took the CD and enhanced several barely audible conversations between songs and was startled to find references to murdering Smith, who died in 2010 under mysterious circumstances. Gunblade was suspected by many but never charged.

On the recordings, Gunblade was speaking to a roadie between songs and Tompkins heard the following exchange:

Gunblade: I want you to waste Vulgar. Make it painful and disgusting.

Roadie: You sure?

Gunblade: Yeah. I want people to be sick just reading about how he died.

Roadie: When do you want me to kill him? Tomorrow?

Gunblade: No, that’s just what he’ll be expecting. I want you to wait seven years. Take him out in 2010.

Roadie: Awesome plan, dude.

Asked for comment, Gunblade had little to say. “Hey, this is totally bogus. I’m as glad as anyone that Vulgar is dead but you can’t pin it on me.”