In a move that shocked NASA scientists, rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns have flown a spacecraft to Mars for no other purpose than to harass the Curiosity Rover on the surface.
“We’re trying to do some low-level passes to see if we can knock it over and break it,” said front man Lars Gunblade in a communication with Earth. “We’re the kind of people who smash mailboxes with baseball bats so this is the ultimate high! In a few minutes, we’re going to moon Curiosity as we pass. Show that on the evening news, if you got the guts.”
The news that The No Talent Ass Clowns were in orbit around Mars comes as a shock since the band had said the craft was only a sub-orbital plane when they announced plans last week to launch it on October 6.
“Yeah, that was bullshit,” said drummer Joey Van Dundro, who is piloting the spacecraft. “We didn’t want those geeks at NASA interfering with us. Now they’re gonna pay. That Rover is toast.”
Band members were quick to mention that they are the first acknowledged people to have sex in space, having brought several groupies with them on the trip. “Yeah, we did the nasty,” said Gunblade. “Trust me, it sounds a whole lot better than it actually is. I think my back’s gonna be messed up for days.”
The band refused to say how they got to Mars in three days. “Yeah, that’s definitely on the DL,” said Gunblade. “Let’s just say it worked but we can be ripped apart at a molecular level any minute so there are drawbacks.”