Vas Defrens and stripper Taffy Pull minutes before doing the deed in the dining area as patrons watched.
Just one day after band mate Lars Gunblade opened the “Take It Off, Bitch!” Strip Club in Kings Nose, NJ, guitarist Vas Defrens and stripper “Taffy Pull” were arrested on a charge on public fornication at 7:30 this evening.
As they were led away from the club, crowds cheered. Smiling, Vas and Taffy started making out again until police officers quickly pulled them apart. The band’s manager, Jerry Gold, quietly paid off the watch commander and the arresting officers and the two left the police station just 15 minutes later.
“We were involved in the very natural act of lovemaking,” said the dancer after being released from custody. “The fact that we choose to do it on top of one of the tables in the dining area while patrons watched doesn’t matter. Believe me, no one objected. Sadly, Vas didn’t even get to finish before the cops showed up and ruined everything. That’s not right.”
While most patrons didn’t object to the sight of The No Talent Ass Clowns guitarist and the stripper going at it, some were offended. “I came here to watch some lovely naked ladies,” said Father Kevin MacKenzie of Saint Sondheim’s Parish. “I didn’t want to see two people in need of some better personal hygiene shouting, ‘Yes’ every two seconds. Plus, Taffy’s foot kept hitting me in the back of the head as Vas was giving her the business every which way. That was kind of annoying.”
Club owner Lars Gunblade couldn’t have been more pleased. “Vas Defrens arrested at a strip club! I love the sound of that and I applaud that guy! I did Taffy last night so I think he made a good choice. It’s just a shame that we live in such a puritanical country that people can’t have sex in public without getting into trouble. I’d like to see stuff like this happening every night but no, Johnny Law says we can’t. We’ll see if that’s true after our manager pays off City Hall!”