Vas Defrens

Vas Defrens belts out a 120-minute guitar solo during “ass” show

Close on the heels of a show where female audience members were required to be totally naked, a new stage set for The No Talent Ass Clowns is turning heads… and stomachs.

Unveiled at the band’s February 1st show, the curtain opened to reveal an enormous naked ass at the back of the stage made of lifelike foam and latex. After several seconds, the ass was heard to “fart” loudly and a horrible smell was pumped through the arena, sickening many concertgoers and hospitalizing three.

Then, the ass cheeks parted and each member of the band was “shat” out of the latex ass onto the stage. After the final encore, the band proceeded to crawl back into the ass and out of sight of the audience. The ass then proceeded to “fart” again, this time emitting far more noxious fumes that quickly drove the audience from the venue.

“Artistically, it is satisfying,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “The ass stage set is a personal statement that I have always wanted to make. This is what I want to be remembered for. Definitely.”

Defrens, infamous for his ass fetishes, recently closed his five-star restaurant, The Ass House, in New York City. He sees this stage set as the best way to bring an ass motif to his fans. “Every fan I banged backstage loved it. There’s the proof of how great it is!”

“It was disgusting,” said concertgoer Bill O’Cohen, 16, “But even though my eyes were watering and I threw up from the smell, I have to admit that I liked it.

The band has stated that this will be their permanent stage set for the rest of their career. “You can’t top perfection!” remarked Defrens.


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  1. ron j. says:

    This is bogus. There is already a blog on this website describing this ass stage set way back in 2010. more proof that this website and this band is fake.

  2. Mike Hunt says:

    I can’t wait, when they come to my town,
    I’m gonna sneak back stage, just you see,

  3. Sandra says:

    I took my grandparents to see the new Ass Clowns stage show and they liked the giant ass on stage. Since they’re both ass fetishists, this is no surprise.

  4. Tf211 says:

    Just came to this website for the first time.

    And I thought Spinal Tap was about all there was to joke about in the music biz!!! “The Ass Clowns” have done Spinal Tap one better.

    Never has a total waste of time been so entertaining. I love the band’s “history.” Very detailed and appropriately stupid.

    • T-Bone says:

      You make it sound as if the band isn’t real. I would like to assure, you, Tf211 (if that is your real name), that I’ve been to dozens of their concerts both before and after I did five years in prison. They kick ass in concert, so stop inferring that they aren’t real ’cause that’s false, ass hat.

      • Lew Flapp says:

        Agreed. They’re every bit as real as I am!

        • SCSTOAUTO says:

          Then why can’t I find their CDs on Amazon?

          • T-Bone says:

            Yawn… Do we have to go over this AGAIN??? Seriously? Everyone with an IQ over 10 knows that the Ass Clowns and Amazon got into a big fight and Amazon banned them from their website. It’s old news. i swear the next person who raises this point I’m going after with a meat cleaver and a cattle prod.

            • Tf211 says:

              OK, I didn’t know how bat shit crazy people are on this site when I posted my message. nothing personal but your all fucked in the head. I’m serious.

              Get a life people. Put down your tablet. Learn what it is to feel the caress of a woman.

              • fudgepackernot says:

                … Or in you’re case, the caress of a man.

                • Tf211 says:

                  You’re one sick fuck, you know that? Just because I occasionally enjoy the caress of a man doesn’t make me gay. Not at all. A buddy of mine and I have three-ways all the time with chicks. And besides, how did you ever know about that???

                  • T-Bone says:

                    That settles it. I’m taking you out, Tf211. You’re pissing me off. Prepare for a boat hook through your ribcage. I’ve had enough of your shit.

                    • Tf211 says:

                      Sure go ahead. I’ll be waiting with my two friends… Smith & Wesson. And they can’t wait to meet you, dickwad.

  5. Professor T. J. Worthington, III says:

    Of course, this is nothing new. A very similar scenario can be found at the end of “The Canterbury Tales” where friars fly out of the devil’s ass. Kudos to The No Talent Ass Clowns for what is clearly an homage to medieval author Geoffrey Chaucer.

    • Buford Picklefeather says:

      Yeah, Pops, I’m sure The No Talent Ass Clowns are big fans of Chaucer!

      What an asshat!

  6. Edna says:

    What a disgusting band. These dirty hippies are genuine pigs. And this web site glorifies them.

  7. Ben Dover says:

    The Ass Clowns need to get rid of Vas Defrens once and for all. This whole ass thing is getting way out of hand. It’s OK in doses but with him it’s ass 24/7. That’s a bit much.

  8. Mickey Finn says:

    Just the description of this concert made me throw up all over myself. Just when you think a band can’t sink any lower, they do.

  9. Reg, South London, UK says:

    If I wanted to look at a naked arse for two hours, I could just ask me girlfriend to drop ’em and lie on me couch while watching telly. And she wouldn’t hit me with a horrible farty smell either. This band is bollocks.

  10. r3oe483 says:

    Can’t wait to see this!

    Sounds great!!