Rock band declares bankruptcy

Posted: 18th August 2011 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown Updates
The No Talent Ass Clowns

Is this the end of the Ass Clowns?

Legendary rockers, The No Talent Ass Clowns, have declared bankruptcy. “We’re entitled to the protection of bankruptcy,” proclaimed band members at a champagne press reception in New York City.

“Turns out being a rock star is expensive,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “Just the price of drugs alone is a budget buster. I only do designer drugs these days and those don’t come cheap. Add to that all of the bribes for radio play and press coverage and you got something approaching the national damn debt!”

“I’m sure glad that we don’t have to worry about this shit any longer,” said guitarist Vas Defrens as he sampled caviar from the belly button of a supermodel reclining on a food tray. “Now we can spend as much as we want and we don’t have to answer for it. That’s always been my dream.”

Drummer Joey Van Dundro defended the band’s spending habits. “Look, I use a different customized drum kit for each song in concert. Plus, all of my drums are skinned with baby seal because that gives me the best sound. All of that comes with a price, dude!”

  1. Jerry Gold says:

    Just like this band. Always looking for a hand-out… whether it’s groupies, pot or a lack of accountability. Some things never change.

  2. shopping says:

    Good issue i will return to your page again thank you.

    • the anti-spammer says:

      Hey, don’t do us any favors, “shopping”

      What kind of stupid comment is that? Did you even read this blog? No, you didn’t. Dickwad.

  3. Ben Wa says:

    Huh? This story is stupid. How can an obviously fake band declare bankruptcy? Answer that and stay fashionable.

  4. Buford Picklefeather says:

    Bankrupt? Good, maybe I’ll stop hearing about this shitty band. Never liked No Talent Ass Clowns. Never will. They suck big time!!! Although I must say their first album “Behind the Times” is one of the best CDs I ever bought. “Blow Chunks Ballet” is actually my all-time favorite song. We even played it at my wedding and I barfed while it played, which was pretty appropriate. Come to think of it, they may actually be my favorite band ever.

  5. Nick Barkley says:

    If this were only parody instead of solid fact!

  6. Edmund Exeley says:

    I’d gladly pay extra to see them in concert if that’s what it takes. I’m sure all of the drugs and payola DOES take a toll.