dead hooker

Guitarist Vas Defrens rocks the house during a recent No Talent Ass Clowns concert at Consumption Auditorium.

Kings Nose NJ police spent Friday night questioning Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens about a dead hooker found naked in his apartment recently. Amber Anderson, 20, was dead when police arrived at Defrens’ home in the famous Warehouse district shortly after midnight nearly two weeks ago. The naked woman had no marks on her body but the name “Vas” had been carved into her firm buttocks with an Exacto knife.

“Hey, I may have carved my name on her ass because that’s art,” said Defrens after being released from questioning. “But it would have been dumb to kill her. She was super talented, if you know what I mean.”

No Dead Hooker On Defrens’ Record… This Time

“Yes, we let Mr. Defrens go,” said Sheriff Brock Launders. “Vas is good people and he doesn’t deserve to have a mark like this on his record. A dead hooker in your apartment just looks bad, you know what I mean? Besides, we’ve arrested him lots of times and he kind of deserved a break for once.”

“Justice was served,” said Defrens’ wife, adult film star Trixie Beaumont. “I did a lesbo scene with Amber once and she kept upstaging me. If Vas killed her, so what? He’s a big star and you gotta give him more leeway than you would an ordinary person.”

“Amber didn’t deserve this,” said Tiffany, a co-worker of Amber’s who generally works the intersection of 4th and Commercial Streets in Kings Nose. “Vas was pretty weird as customers go. Amber specialized in kinky stuff but Vas took it so far that she kind of freaked out. Just two weeks ago, she was talking about becoming a nun to wipe out the sordid memories of sex with Vas. That says a lot coming from a girl who didn’t flinch at sessions with entire sports teams.”

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  1. Cameron says:

    LEAVE VAS ALONE!!!!!

  2. Clell Miller says:

    Rock stars will be rock stars. What’s the big deal?

    • Nellie Lanning says:

      This is a cover up. I think this hooker is still alive. The Kings Nose police know more than they’re saying!

  3. Vinnie from Staten Island says:

    Vas Defrens is the greatest guitarist of all time. I don’t think he did anything wrong here.

  4. Ricky G. says:

    Oh, sure, let’s get on the Vas bashing bandwagon! Tell me, who hasn’t had a dead hooker in their room at some point? It happens.

    • Meat Pants says:

      True that. I’ve definitely been there. It was college. What do you expect? These things happen.

  5. Sammy G. says:

    What a sick depraved person. Although Vas sounded OK.

  6. Erica B. says:

    I knew Amber. She was as trashy as they come. Ready for anything and I mean anything. This Vas Defrens bloke must be one sick momma jomma.

  7. T-Bone says:

    I’ll bet if someone found a dead hooker in my house the cops wouldn’t be letting me off. This is totally unfair. These Ass Clowns can get away with anything! I’m so sick of this!