Vas Defrens

No Talent Ass Clowns -- Greatest Band Ever!

Legendary rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns have been voted the greatest rock band of all time. In a surprise press conference aboard the band’s tour blimp, Ass Clowns manager Jerry Gold announced that the voting came from the band itself. “The band decided that they were the best and now they want everyone to know it,” said Gold as he groped two Ass Clowns groupies.

“Yeah, we are the best band ever!” said front man Lars Gunblade. “We rock. We roll. We do all that shit!”

“Other bands should just retire,” said lead guitarist Vas Defrens as he downed triple vodkas and lines of cocaine.

“We try to not let the fact that we are the world’s greatest band ever go to our heads,” said drummer Joey Van Dundro. “We put our pants on just like everybody else. It’s just that hordes of smoking hot chicks take them off again later… that’s the only difference.”

  1. Duck Butter Dirk says:

    The No Talent Ass Clowns are the band that America deserves.

  2. Colley Cibber says:

    I love the No Talent Ass Clowns! I’m glad they finally declared themselves the best band ever. They aren’t, of course but who cares? They’re great!!!

  3. Rock and roll idiot says:

    I’m torn between The No Talent Ass Clowns or AC/DC as the greatest rock band of all time. Bon Scott’s got nothin’ over Lars Gunblade, that’s for sure. Guess I have to go with the Ass Clowns. I got laid a lot more often after a No Talent Ass Clowns concert than say a Green Day concert.

  4. Ass Clowns suck says:

    What??? The No Talent Ass Clowns are the worst band of all time!!! I mean, yeah, I never miss a show when they come to Consumption Auditorium but still… they suck.

    • J. Gold says:

      Bravo to the ass clowns! They call it like they see it. They may smell bad and have multiple bouts with VD but they’re rock and roll.