Legendary rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns have been voted the greatest rock band of all time. In a surprise press conference aboard the band’s tour blimp, Ass Clowns manager Jerry Gold announced that the voting came from the band itself. “The band decided that they were the best and now they want everyone to know it,” said Gold as he groped two Ass Clowns groupies.
“Yeah, we are the best band ever!” said front man Lars Gunblade. “We rock. We roll. We do all that shit!”
“Other bands should just retire,” said lead guitarist Vas Defrens as he downed triple vodkas and lines of cocaine.
“We try to not let the fact that we are the world’s greatest band ever go to our heads,” said drummer Joey Van Dundro. “We put our pants on just like everybody else. It’s just that hordes of smoking hot chicks take them off again later… that’s the only difference.”