New Vas Defrens CD Sparks Outrage

Posted: 16th December 2014 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown Updates
Vas Defrens CD

Vas Defrens’ CD is “sick, lewd and deprived but catchy” says critic

Bad boy rock guitarist Vas Defrens of The No Talent Ass Clowns has once again caused a firestorm of controversy with a new CD hitting stores today.

The CD, entitled “I’ll Be Seizin’ You,” contains two 40-minute songs in an elaborate digipak that contains dozens of explicit photos of Vas Defrens’ wife, adult film star Trixie Beaumont, an inflatable bong, a generous amount of factory-sealed marijuana and a discount coupon for Doritos.

The CD was immediately rejected by all retail outlets across the country. Federal agents are visiting hundreds of stores to make sure no copies are sold. Rumor has it that it’s only available by emailing Defrens and wiring cash to a secret account.

“All those hot pics of Trixie Beaumont sure got me going,” remarked Kenneth William Johnson-Hearst, a cashier at the CD 3PO store in Hunt Valley, MD who asked not to be named. “But we can’t be selling a CD loaded with an once of choice bud… no matter how good it is. I don’t want to be arrested again. That would be strike three for me!”

As for the music itself, critic Joe Bunky from Rock Wasteland didn’t hold back, “It’s sick, lewd and deprived but kind of catchy. We gave it four stars but it really shouldn’t be sold anywhere to anyone for any reason.”


  1. Clive Bixby says:

    I want to listen to this CD with the woman in bed chamber for loving. It being the stimulus to the sex wanted by her. Vas Defrens being the artist that make glorious music for rocking and sliding.

    • Guiseppe Filippo says:

      Clive, you sound like some goddamned foreigner. I hope you’re just a shitty typist. If you are some type of non-American (and that’s the worst kind), you’re not welcome here.

      • Clive Bixby says:

        Apologizing please for useage incorrect of English. Why the fornication do you make jest of those things I say? Also, big fan of No Talent Ass Clowns I am. Thank you very muchly.

        • Archie Philpotts says:

          This Clive guy should be shot by a firing squad. I have some experience with that sort of thing.

  2. Father MacKenzie says:

    I illegally downloaded “I’ll Be Seizin” You” from an Iranian website and frankly, I loved it. Didn’t see anything objectionable at all. Everyone else at the rectory liked it too. What’s all the fuss?

    • T-Bone says:

      The fuss is, this could unravel society as we know it. It’s like throwing gasoline on a fire or Charlie Sheen on a prostitute. I’m only guilty of murder. On the other hand, Vas Defrens is committing a crime against humanity. Although if anyone has a copy of this, can you send me the MP3s? I’m still in the same cell block. I really want to hear it.

      • The Real Hammer says:


        You got all the logic of a brian-damaged monkey. Seriously, you have brian damage and that explains all the stupid comments you make here. Hope someone knifes you in jail.

        Yours truly,

        The Real Hammer

    • E. Rigby says:

      What’s all the fuss? This is perhaps the sickest thing I’ve ever heard. I can’t ever begin to put into words the kind of stuff Vas Defrens has put on this CD. I’ve been scarred for life by hearing it. If you could “un-listen” to something, I would. You’ve all been warned. Don’t try to find Vas’ CD!!!

  3. Captain Lou R. Johnson (RET) says:

    There aren’t enough CDs in favor of date rape out there to listen to. Along comes one and what happens? I’ll tell you. “The man” makes sure that I can’t have a copy. My personal freedoms are being infringed upon… again!