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Lars Gunblade

Lars Gunblade

For a limited time, No Talent Ass Clowns fans can get a special limited edition poster of rock legend, Lars Gunblade.

Printed on special recycled smoking papers, the poster shows the legendary rocker in his favorite setting, the disreputable Consumption Auditorium “dressing room” in Kings Nose, NJ. Fans worldwide are appalled that the poster sells for $5,000. “It’s a bargain,” said Lars Gunblade. “After all, it’s me and you know you want it. Hell, even I get turned on just looking at it.”

“I don’t know if I can afford this Lars Gunblade poster,” said avid fan Buford Picklefeather of Perth Amboy, NJ. “I could turn some tricks again. I suppose that would give me enough cash. It just bugs me that I have to do that. My wife will be pissed.”

According to Ass Clowns’ manager, Jerry Gold, the poster is only available to attractive female groupies with large breasts who get invited backstage. “Hey, look, we can’t just let anyone have this poster.”