Comments Off on “Pinch The Loaf” CD To Be Released Tuesday

Pinch the Loaf - CDIt’s been quite awhile since we’ve seen a new No Talent Ass Clowns CD. The arrival of “Pinch the Loaf” on Tuesday puts the legendary band back on the charts. Although back on the charts will be difficult since Amazon has banned their CDs and numerous retail outlets won’t carry their music either.

“Yeah, it’s bullshit,” says singer Lars Gunblade. “We’re the greatest band ever but all of these pricks won’t carry the CDs. All we asked for was 100% of the sales. They should feel honored just having our music in their stores. Yet, they want to make a profit by exploiting us? They want to make money off of our sweat and our labor? I don’t think so.”

“The song ‘Pinch the Loaf‘ is one of the best things we’ve written in a long time,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “They tell you to write about what you know and I know about pinching a loaf so it made total sense to write a song about it. My wife [porn star Trixie Beaumont] helped me write some of the lyrics but she’s not getting credit because that means I’d have to pay her and I’m not going to do that. No way.”

Their band manager, Jerry Gold, produced the album and has said it’s a masterpiece. “It’s a masterpiece,” said Jerry Gold. “The Beatles had their Sergeant Pepper and I think the No Talent Ass Clowns now have ‘Pinch the Loaf.’ The sonic landscapes of this album are amazing. You’ve got it all here: guitar distortion… gastric accidents… shouting. The band’s entire career has been leading up to this moment and this CD. ‘Pinch the Loaf’ is kind of an allegory for what happens in your life. Sometimes, you have to let things go. That’s the theme of the album, although it’s mostly about literally pinching a loaf. This is Lars and Vas we’re talking about. They’re not exactly big thinkers.”