Lars Gunblade book

Lars Gunblade's new book? No thanks.

By Vulgar Smith, Ex-No Talent Ass Clowns Drummer

Somebody make Lars Gunblade stop! First, we get his self-serving autobiography, “Am I Great Or What?” and now we get the rock star’s newest ego trip—a coffee table book of self-indulgent photography.

Five pages of photos showing cigarette butts in the gutter? A chapter devoted to photos of the hubcaps on his sports car getting progressively dirtier? If these were any one else’s photos, no one would notice they exist. But since the great Lars Gunblade took them, we’re supposed to bow down and worship them or something. Thanks but no thanks. This is some seriously crappy photography from one seriously crappy human being. And I’m not just saying that because I’m not in the band anymore. My leaving was by mutual consent. But I digress.

Some sections of the book actually offered a lot of promise. For example, the huge selection of naked groupie photos could have been really hot. Unfortunately, all of the photos are out of focus and overexposed. Thanks for nothing, Lars. I noticed that he managed to get his own John Thomas in focus but not the naked chicks. That’s Lars for you.

I don’t recommend this book. I also don’t recommend any No Talent Ass Clowns CDs. At least not until they get rid of Joey Van Dundro, rock’s worst drummer.

(Editor’s note: All of us here at The Official Worship Site are deeply saddened by the death of Vulgar Smith. Sure, it’s a bit strange that he writes a scathing review of Lars’ book and he’s dead a few weeks later but, come on, the band is on tour. There’s no way Lars could have done it.)

  1. Todd B. says:

    I couldn’t find this book on Amazon. What gives?

  2. Meat Pants says:

    I just saw this book in a cut-out bin for 25 cents. I’m not sure it’s worth that much.

  3. Vim Fuego says:

    How come the mainstream media ignored this story? That’s bullshit. How typical for the MSM to ignore the No Talent Ass Clowns!

  4. Tony Ramone says:

    Lars Gunblade killed Vulgar Smith. Everybody knows it!!!