Archive for the ‘Latest Ass Clown Updates’ Category

Rock The Vote 2016 may look a little different this year… Everyone is talking about the 2016 Presidential Election. Who is going to win? Trump? Clinton? Megaband The No Talent Ass Clowns has other ideas. Their contribution to Rock The Vote 2016 is totally out of left field: give the U.S. back to England. It […]

Creative differences in the band was the subtext of the latest No Talent Ass Clowns interview. Yet for most of the interview, The No Talent Ass Clowns front man Lars Gunblade and guitarist Vas Defrens talked about how they met as six year olds in Kings Nose, NJ. It’s interesting stuff, although they gave a […]

One of the only known demos of The No Talent Ass Clowns in the recording studio has surfaced recently on YouTube. Stolen last month from No, Not There! Studios in Kings Nose, NJ, the rare demo is of a new song entitled “See You.” Apparently, it’s a work in progress for their new CD tentatively […]

In a shocking interview, it appears legendary band The No Talent Ass Clowns confront a shocking rumor: which is that the band had sex with their own manager, Jerry Gold, to get him to manage them. Singer Lars Gunblade viciously denied the rumor while guitarist Vas Defrens seemed to sheepishly admit guilt. Band Had Sex […]

Guitarist Vas Defrens of The No Talent Ass Clowns recently killed a concertgoer in Boston with the bayonet that he has custom-fitted onto his Les Paul guitar. After Ass Clowns manager Jerry Gold met with Boston police, all charges were dropped immediately. “Every guitarist should have a bayonet on his guitar,” said Defrens. “It’s just […]

The No Talent Ass Clowns performed their new song “I Finished, Now Get Out!” on The Doug Fredericks Show recently. It was an amazing performance, given that the band seldom allows fans into their concert arenas anymore. “This song is really a tender love ballad,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “I’ve heard that a lot […]

The new music video for “Words of Wisdom” is angering fans of the legendary rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns. Straying completely from their hard rock roots, “Words of Wisdom” is pure electro-pop, which is something many fans don’t want from the infamous band. Strangely enough, the song is only available on the New Zealand […]

Legendary band The No Talent Ass Clowns have decided that they will only release one copy of future CDs. While fans are furious, the band couldn’t be happier. “This is the logical way to do things in the music industry at this time,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “Not fair to the fans? F**k them. […]

“Ass On Demand” by The No Talent Ass Clowns has a simple message that isn’t sitting well with some female fans. Like the “On Demand” button on your remote, the band finds that they have an “Ass On Demand” button on tour. And it gets pressed a lot. “Hey, why do you think people want […]

Legendary rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns have taken concerts to a whole new level: the band plays to completely empty theaters. And the weird thing is that it’s 100% intentional. “We had been building up to this for damn near 20 years,” said singer Lars Gunblade. “I mean, shit, these fans were just […]