The body of Ex-No Talent Ass Clowns drummer, Vulgar Smith, was discovered yesterday with the Skull and Bones, an undergraduate senior or secret society at Yale University.
Police found the drummer’s mummified body had been propped up with a pot plant in each hand in a secret meeting room located inside “The Tomb,” which is the hall that the society uses. The reaction of campus officials was swift. “I thought they were just getting new members to take a wizz on Geronimo’s stolen skull. That I understand. Their role in a global conspiracy for world domination is also pretty easy to take. This, on the other hand, is unacceptable.”
Members of the No Talent Ass Clowns seemed unfazed by the news. “Vulgar always did like having an audience,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “This kind of makes sense.”
Smith died last summer under mysterious circumstances. Since then, Ass Clowns singer Lars Gunblade has been viewed as a prime suspect in his death by many fans. “That’s bullshit,” says Gunblade. “I never killed him. And if I did, there’s no evidence to link me to the crime.”