Benedict Arnold Memorial To Be Built in Norwich, Conn.

Benedict Arnold Memorial To Be Built in Norwich, Conn.

Legendary rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns announced this morning that they will headline a Benefit Concert for the building of the Benedict Arnold Memorial Statue in Arnold’s hometown of Norwich, Connecticut. Benedict Arnold, who famously switched sides to join the British during the American Revolution, is generally ranked as one of America’s greatest villains.

Reactions from across the country have been swift and negative. Within minutes of the announcement, The Daughters of the American Revolution stated it was no longer going to allow No Talent Ass Clowns music to be played at their functions.

“This is BS,” said “Walter ,” 58, a former veteran from Alabama who is now in command of a secret militia group that he refused to name. “Benedict Arnold betrayed America in the Civil War. And somebody wants to celebrate that with a statue? Seems dead wrong to me.”

Front man Lars Gunblade sees the Arnold statue differently. “Why would anyone be angry? Hello? The war’s been over for like 225 years! Chill, dudes!” said Gunblade. “The Benedict Arnold statue will be awesome. It’ll go right in front of City Hall and it’ll be 200 feet tall. If that’s not awesome enough, get this… depending on what angle you view it from, you’ll see him wearing either his American uniform or his British uniform. How cool is that?”

“Benedict Arnold has always gotten bad press because he turned traitor and joined the redcoats. Big deal!” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “We like him because he was all about attitude. There was a lot of resistance to this statue but when we pay off all the Norwich city officials and various politicians, you can bet we will have the green light to build it.”

The infamous band has often been criticized for its choices for benefit concerts, particularly its decision to headline a concert to benefit Wall Street bankers when the Great Recession began. “Hey, somebody offered to pay us in cash and we never say no to that arrangement,” said drummer Joey Van Dundro. “Anyway, Benedict Arnold joined with the Brits. They’re our allies, right? What’s the problem?”

The band has not settled on a date for the concert. Gunblade stated that he wanted Revolutionary War reenactors to stage a battle during the concert but insisted that they use live ammunition to make it more exciting for the audience.

Stay tuned for details.


  1. George F. says:

    I am a Revolutionary War British reenactor and I’d love to open fire on other reenactors with live rounds. That way no one can pretend they weren’t hit during a tactical when they obviously were. Can’t pull that off using live ammunition.

  2. Toadvine Bill says:

    Hey, Arnold won the Battle of Saratoga for the Americans before he went traitor. Remember that!

  3. Timbo says:

    The No Talent Ass Clowns used to be about the music… know what I mean?… they were about great songs like “Sex Me Up, Hose Me Down” and “Brown Helmet Bingo”… songs my ex-wife and I listened to when we were doing it in the back of my pickup truck with her best friend…

    Now the Ass Clowns are just about cheap attempts to get attention by doing something provocative.

    I hate that!

  4. Don B. says:

    I’ve been a Revolutionary War reenactor for many, many years. Sometimes, the tacticals we stage get a little boring. I think using live ammo would lend a whole new aspect to reenacting. I’m for it.

    • Roy N. says:

      I don’t know. There could be some problems firing live cartridges at other reenactors. Someone could get hit. Although that would make the tactical more realistic.

      • redcoat84937 says:

        Live cartridges? Sounds good to me. I’m not familiar with this band but the idea of a Benedict Arnold statue seems cool as hell.

  5. Mr. B says:

    I support the idea of this statue. Benedict Arnold’s villainy has been overrated.

    • Mrs. Edith Kravitz says:

      A Benedict Arnold Memorial sounds like a wonderful idea. How can I contribute money to this very worthy project?

  6. Concerned Norwich Citizen says:

    I’m from Norwich and I can tell you, I haven’t heard ANYTHING about this statue! Sounds like a horrible, horrible idea. How dare people think of such a thing? Leave it to some dirt bag heavy metal band to do this!

  7. Sarah Palin says:

    Who names there son Benedict?

  8. Beverley Robinson says:

    I love Civil War history!

  9. Private Brewer says:

    Isn’t turning coat a Connecticut tradition? Benedict Arnold and Joe Lieberman are only two examples, but I thought it was pretty common.

  10. Andreas Emmerich says:

    What’s the American Revolution?

  11. Lt. Col. James Chalmers says:

    All I can say is that it’s about time!