Compressed CD Brain Dump by The No Talent Ass Clowns

Rock bad boys The No Talent Ass Clowns will soon release a compressed CD that will destroy most sound systems it’s played on. Entitled Brain Dump, the new album creates a sound so distorted by compression that it will shatter most speakers currently available. “I really felt the tracks needed more compression,” said producer Bruce Dickinson. I told the band that I had a fever and the only prescription was more compression.”

“Other bands are compressing the shit out of the audio and getting people pissed off,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “We figured why not take it to the next logical step? If a band like Imagine Dragons can release a CD that is widely criticized for being too compressed, surely we can outdo those smug hipsters. I’ve tried listening to Brain Dump myself and, yeah, it’s basically unf*cking listenable. This is exactly what our fans deserve!”

Brain Dump, which contains the new hit song Hammered, will hit the street on October 1.


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  1. Archie Philpotts says:

    Long-time fan, first-time commenter. I think this band totally kicks ass and I pumped to hear this new CD. I’m not too happy that it’s going to destroy my stereo. That kind of sucks. But, f**k it, I live for rock and roll, dude.

    • T-Bone says:

      Your first-time comment is pretty lame, Archie. I hope you’ll work a little harder to say something remotely interesting next time.

      You live for rock and roll? Somehow I doubt that.

  2. Pete and ReePete says:


    • Phillip Wilson says:

      I will never buy a No Talent Ass Clowns CD. Not now. Not ever.

    • Nicki James Vermoth says:

      Same here. I’ve always wanted an album cover showing some guy’s head sliced open like this. I am ecstatic!

      Whatever music is on the CD I’m not especially interested in.

  3. Dr. Samboni O'Grady says:

    This CD and this band sound really, really stupid. i would NEVER buy this CD, not even if I was suffocating and there was oxegen in the jewal box.

  4. Not Lew Flapp says:

    I hate this band!!!! Why should I buy a CD that wrecks my friggin’ speakers? WTF? This band has totally lost it. That being said, I’ll buy it of course because I’m a major fan. But it bugs me.

    • Vinnie from Staten Island says:

      I’d gladly destroy my sound system to crank up this Ass Clowns CD. So it’s distorted? That’s just the way Lars, Vas, Carnage and Joey roll. What’s your problem?

      • Joe Bunky says:

        Listening to an album and hearing it clearly is overrated. I much prefer bass that is so compressed that the distortion hurts my ears. That’s how music was intended to be.

      • Troll Killer 257 says:

        I agree. “Not Lew Flapp” sounds like a genuine, class A, number one asshole. Hey, troll, just go home.

        • Not Lew Flapp says:

          Just because I’m paid by a major music label to go on websites and say bad things about other bands does not mean I’m a troll. Let’s just be clear about that.

  5. The REAL Hammer says:

    Well, I just blew two grand on my sound system but I’ve got to hear the new album. Guess I better start saving for new speakers.