Legendary rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns announced this morning that they have hired alternate musicians to portray the band for many concert appearances in 2013. The band declined to name the four Latino musicians who will play at least 70% of the band’s concerts around the world.
“We love playing concerts,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “But we don’t need to tour to get laid these days. And let’s not forget that your Mexicans work real cheap and they’re got a bitchin’ work ethic. We’re lazy, middle-aged rockers. Who would you rather bring high-voltage rock your way?”
Reaction from fans has been universally negative. “The Ass Clowns have disappointed me for years,” says fanatical fan Buford Picklefeather of Perth Amboy, NJ. “This is just another insult piled upon mountains of insults.”