Comments Off on Ass Clowns Release New Single Exclusively on Edison Cylinder

Ever the innovators, controversial rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns have released their new single on an Edison cylinder… a format dead since the late 1910’s.

Whisper to the Thunder appeared this morning in stores across the country, much to the bewilderment of many customers. “What the f*ck is this?” remarked Dan J., a customer in New York City. “What the f*ck am I going to do with a cylinder? I’m sick of this band and all of their bullsh*t.” The asking price of the cylinder–$75–is not helping with sales either.

“Hey, look,” said front man Lars Gunblade, “if bands like Pearl Jam and Guns N’ Roses can release their precious albums on f*cking vinyl, why can’t we release on Edison Cylinders? Huh? Answer that and stay fashionable!”

Gunblade and the rest of the band are big fans of the cylinder format. “We like cylinders and are trying to revive them. Granted, it’s basically one song per cylinder with an extremely limited dynamic range so there are some gigantic limitations.”

Since virtually no one but antique collectors have cylinder players, most people obviously won’t ever hear this new single. “Maybe that’s a good thing,” said Chico O’Brian, owner of CD Wasteland in Kings Nose, NJ. “If no one hears it, no one will know how bad it probably is. I gave up on this band after Pucker Factor although Ass on Demand has its moments.”

For fans, the packaging reveals something interesting. “Lars Gunblade and the No Talent Ass Clowns” on the label is saying to fans that Lars Gunblade has finally declared his superiority over the band. We say, it’s about time!