Controversial No Talent Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens married porn star Trixie Beaumont at the musician’s “Rectal Hall” estate in Montana on Saturday. The two have been an item for several years so the super-secret wedding didn’t come as a surprise to fans.

Known for his shocking perversity, Defrens sent an semi X-rated invitation to friends showing himself and Trixie Beaumont having sex. “That invitation made me definitely want to be at this wedding,” said a famous musician who urgently requested not to be named. “After the ceremony, they had an explicit photo session and Trixie wound up satisfying everyone taking pictures. Needless to say, it was the best wedding reception ever,” gushed the anonymous musician.

Trixie Beaumont, famous for such adult videos as “Anal Hospital 7” and “Asscapades: The Reckoning,” said the timing was right for a wedding. “I’m not HIV positive yet so I figured let Vas put a ring on it before something happens because, let’s face it, something will.”

No other No Talent Ass Clowns were present, fueling speculation that Defrens was the only musician in the band who didn’t require castration as a result of doing a nude concert during the recent polar vortex. “I don’t want those guys here,” shouted Defrens as he drunkenly groped Beaumont in front of photographers during the reception. “They’ve got dirty minds. Who needs that? Our love is pure, dude. Here, watch how pure it is!”

  1. Ken Skidmore says:

    Go, Vas go!!!!! I know of one college dorm that would love to meet your wife. Or anybody’s wife.

  2. The REAL Hammer says:

    My fiance, Trish, and I are going to model our wedding ceremony on Vas and Trixie’s. Sounds fun. Trish says she can take on any number of guests afterwards. We’ll see. At the wedding rehearsal, she could only manage 23.

  3. Ida Farmington says:

    When I saw that picture, I was disgusted. I showed it to everyone at my church and they were just as appalled. How dare you publish such filth? I hope you rot in hell, you pathetic devil worshipers.

    • Mrs. J. Worth says:

      I agree with you. I took this image to my pastor and asked him what to do about it. He asked me if viewing the photo was exciting in any way to me. I’d rather not say what happened next.

  4. Buford Picklefeather says:

    Sounds like a touching wedding… literally.

  5. Not Lew Flapp says:

    Wow, Vas has really gone too far this time.