LarsAid ad (from last month's "Jugs" magazine)

No Talent Ass Clowns’ front man, Lars Gunblade, has created a charity unlike any other — it’s for himself.

“I’m on top right now,” admits Gunblade. “But things could change eventually. All the booze, expensive designer drugs and dog fighting bets might eventually drain my resources. I could wind up broke!”

Designated LarsAid, the new charity requires a minimum donation of $1,000. So far, there have been few takers.

“You guys better contribute,” warns Gunblade. “You wouldn’t want to see me wondering around West Hollywood dressed in thrift shop clothing and smelling like urine. Your stupid minds wouldn’t be able to handle it!”

Gunblade says he is trying to hammer out a deal memo with his band to play a big charity concert to benefit LarsAid. “It would be a huge event,” says Gunblade. “Who can support me better than me? Only trouble is, we cost a lot. Personally, I’m not taking the stage unless my cut is 2 million.”